Day 308

Sunday November 27

I learned that I have realized a great responsibility within myself, and so at times I push myself to fulfill that responsibility, which ought not be a bad thing, rather supportive in actuality, only I have to learn to forgive myself when I do make mistakes.

How we have desecrated the physical so extensively, and still not realized what we are doing to ourselves. We have allowed ourselves to exist in fear of introspection, of facing what is really here. We have preferred shame to self honesty. We cover up the truth of ourselves, we prefer the lie, because the lie feels better for the moment. We fear addressing the problem in the assumption that 'someone else has already considered it all' and thus there is no, and will be no solution ever, meanwhile, the solution is here as ourselves.

We justify ourselves as being too small to create the solution, which is nothing more than a terrible lie, as size is irrelevant in terms of self honesty.

I am greatly relieved to have realized myself to this point, and grateful for the support I have been given. I would like to be faithful to what has been given to me of existence, so that I might somehow support the creation of life here in the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get lost in my game and play for too long today without realizing how that I am sacrificing myself as the time that I have been given - and using that time in self interest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry with others because I feel that I am being prevented from helping and supporting others and myself in the process through judgments and criticizing. I should correct the point and at least blog as a point of self movement.