Tuesday, 12 April 2016

Day 265 - Inertia to Determination

I at times find myself doing little things in a type of distraction, that while movement, do not move me in the direction of my dreams/goals. Things such as looking in the refrigerator for no reason - I recognize this as Inertia.  Peering out the window as a distraction, I recognize this as Inertia. Browsing Facebook endlessly as a mental distraction, as opposed to self-directed responsibility, I recognize this as Inertia and distraction from my goals.

I see these issues as outflows of the programmed mind, where I have allowed myself to be educated into the belief that the act of self-directed creation is 'work' that should only be done in reluctance, and avoided if at all possible, when in fact the opposite is true. 

Another reason this has been allowed within my life, is because I have lost my connection to my self, as the ultimate realization of Equality within the physical reality. As long as I am not in breath, this exists only as a mental talisman of a future goal, difficult to grasp or perceive, hence I must push myself to be here as breath in self-trust, utilizing any and all available soil to sew and cultivate myself to Life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe or think that the act of creation is work, when in actuality, creating myself is self-movement and exhilarating, whereas not creating myself creates more work which I will have to do in the future!

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look in the refrigerator for no reason other than to distract myself from my responsibilities.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look out the window for no reason, as distraction from myself here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to browse Facebook endlessly and mindlessly.

I commit myself to realize when I am attempting to distract myself, and in so to observe what point lay behind the distraction - be it fear of some sort or whatever else - and investigate the point so that I may apply specific self forgiveness, and corrective application so that I may focus myself more effectively on my goals.

It is like a form of stagnation, where I deceive myself into thinking that I am doing something, and yet no directive action is really taking place within myself.

I realize I must allow myself to take breaks from time to time, these too being self directed. The point is to align all of my movements into one purposeful objective, without sidestepping, distracting myself, or avoiding that objective.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to yield myself to restlessness within the desire for an external form of stimulation, as opposed to me moving myself in directive principle towards my commitments and goal. I realize that the goal that I have created for myself is the ultimate reason for living, and nothing else in the entire universe brings any comparably real or lasting joy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become paralyzed within my reluctance to move out of cyclical patterns of enslavement to and within the fear of change.

I also realize a subtle form of mental complaining as thoughts, as unproductive meandering is a form of diversion which forms a barrier to placing myself within and as directive principle of myself here.

I commit myself to embrace the resistance to move myself within seeing myself in cycles of inertia, and in so breathe, and take directive principle in focusing on my goal.

I commit myself to break through the repetitive patterns of inertia so that I may push myself to work more effectively and efficiently towards my goal in each moment of breath.

I commit myself to Focus myself, so that I do not allow foolish trivia to distract me from my goal of Equality within myself and without in my world.

I commit myself to become and live the expression of Self Directed Determination, and to repeat that expression as often as necessary until it is done, and all is Equal and One as Life.

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