Monday, 11 April 2016

Day 264 - Reflecting

I have been speaking with someone recently who has been assisting me to align myself within understanding my Astrological Birth Chart, among other things such as numerology etc.  I have found the birth chart to be very informative and helpful in reflecting to me what my predisposed strengths are within the world system based on the planetary alignments at my birth date/time/place.

What I have found is (something that I already knew) that my current profession is not exactly the best fit for my particular design.  It has been quite a challenge, and I have enjoyed learning to build structures and fix everything home related, however this has become a burden, as I am aware that I am preventing myself from achieving my full potential, and my education and talents could be put to better use in another industry or service.

Needless to say there is some anxiety in examining this point, as what is most prominent when reading the birth chart was 'why was I not aware of this information when I was a child, or in my teen years?'  I certainly could have used this kind of support, as I have been largely unaware of my strengths (and weaknesses) for my entire life.  If indeed it is accurate, which I trust it is from a certain perspective of understanding our preprogrammed design, this information could have steered me away from the 'hail Mary' college choices I made.  Perhaps it could have helped me significantly in choosing a path in which my full potential would have been a far more likely possibility, as I would have had the confidence of knowing that 'there is a strong chance I will excel at such and such type of work'.  I find it absurd and unacceptable that this kind of information is withheld and suppressed within our society and education system.

Admittedly, I have made some foolish life choices.  I have suppressed myself significantly within naivety and preoccupation, little did I realize that I was allowing myself to drift far off course, far away from Self-Honesty, lost in the endless, mystical, fantasies as my imaginations of bliss and enchantment.  If only I had understood, and really been Self-Honest with myself...but no, I had an idea of what life was all about, rather than the actual living certainty of truly understanding my relationship to Life.

How can we allow this to happen to each other, and within that, have the audacity to pretend that we care?  We do not care! This example clearly shows that we do not actually care at all - it is fake, pretentious caring, that exists purely as a mental buffering to reality.  If we actually Lived Care as Equals, then everyone would actually be living and creating their full potential in each moment without exception!  This, rather than being diverted into all kinds of selfish and vain pursuits in separation from the reality of Life, and what it means to truly Live!

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make foolish life choices in Self Interest, as opposed to really knowing myself in Self-Honesty, and from that point, committing myself to my utmost potential as creating myself as what is Best for All.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by anxiety within the decision of choosing what way would be best for me to apply myself.  I realize that as long as I remain true to my commitment to be Self Honest, then that will lead me in the direction I need to go, and I will accept myself, and be okay with myself within that decision... because if I place my trust within myself, within Self Honesty, the only result can be my Utmost Potential from here.

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