Thursday, 9 May 2013

Day 214

I had a good day lined up today, but early this morning my body was in discomfort and so requested that I should not leave immediately, so I was a bit late getting to work.  The day started out alright, yet I was anxious about how the job would turn out.  Some trying situations arose, and there was some backchat of frustration - being within the fear of some disaster taking place or me not getting paid for some reason.   I came back to breathing after a few intervals such as this and realized that, although these frustrations seemed impossible to stop, I still had the choice to slow myself and breathe.

To explain the story - A lady wanted a new fence put in because her existing fence was rotten at the bottom and falling over.  This was because it was not installed properly initially.  The wood was still good in most places, but because of the quick and careless job of the installation, it had to be replaced - halving its useful life expectancy.

So I struggled to solve numerous difficulties that arose today, and eventually finished the job, although a few hours later than expected.  I did get paid so my earlier fear unfounded.  By chance I ran into my nephew and sister-in-law who brought me a drink and a sandwich for lunch at the perfect time, as I did not have time to stop for lunch and was low on energy and hungry.

On the way home 20 minutes from my house I got a flat tire.  I did not have a spare on me so I called a couple people but no one was home.  I ended up having to call a tow truck which cost me over half of what I made today.  It has been a rough week.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give in to the mind during work where I allow myself to react in frustration out of fear of not getting paid or not making enough money, or making a mistake that will cost me a lot.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make a big deal out of problems that arise before I allow myself to step back and attempt a few solutions to see if perhaps the problem can be solved relatively easily.

I commit myself to focus myself on the point of resolving/working through/walking the solution to problems at work.  Within this I commit myself to challenge myself to slow down and not allow myself to react when I recognize a problem, so that I can move myself within process of myself to clear work points of frustration and the mind having temper tantrums out of fear.

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