Monday, 2 May 2016
"I deserved better". I observed this dimension of thought, where it was not those specific words, yet that was the undercurrent, as what was implied and generally accepted as truth within the depths of my mind.
"I deserved better... because of my intelligence... Yes, I should have had more... "
"I deserved better... because of my heritage and family relations..."
"I deserved better... because of my appearance..."
"I deserved better... because of my physical strength..."
"I deserved better... because I truly enjoy piling on the justifications... and so I flip another golden coin of conscious thought into the offering plate of my favorite charity, self-pity.
"I should have been better..."
"Why didn't I just...."
"Why couldn't I have been better..."
"Why was I so dumb?..."
Regret justifies Fear and Anger, Fear and Anger justify Blame, Blame justifies Resentment, Resentment justifies Stagnation, and Stagnation justifies Suppression and Depression, Suppression and Depression justify Self Interest, and Self Interest justifies Self-Righteousness... Like riding the merry go round and round.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to indulge in mental conversations where I accepted the underlying idea that I deserved better in my life because of some trait or characteristic of myself - as opposed to seeing myself as an Equal Physical being, Equal to Life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I was better than anyone in any way and thus deserved 'better' in this life, when there is nothing in existence that provides valid justification for me to believe that I deserve an unequal share of resources, comforts, indulgences or experiences while here on this planet.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be upset with myself in thinking that I could have/should have/would have done better in my past, and so use these desire's to be better than others in my past, as justifications for me to be upset with myself, pity myself, exist in grief, suppress myself and subject myself to depression and irresponsibility to stand for Life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pity myself and contribute to the justifications of self-pity in order to further justify irresponsibility to stand for Life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use excuses as to why I cannot contribute to the support of Life.
Imagine an alien race suddenly appeared on Earth. 1 alien for each human being, each at their respective human counterparts location. Now say, each alien had a ray gun pointed at their human counterpart, and said to them "From now on, you will do nothing outside of what is Best for All Life... Every Thought, Word, and Action will be in line with that principle - or you will be killed instantly."
So, every human had to stop what they were doing immediately, and work together to solve the problems of humanity in Practical Common Sense, following the orders of the Alien beings - otherwise they would be blasted by the ray gun and killed.
How long do you think would it take for all of our problems to be solved ? 1 Day? 1 Month? 1 Year Maybe?
And... Would we ever go back to living in Self Interest again?
No, we would not, because living as Equals as what is Best for All Life would be totally awesome... not to mention ten billion times better than being enslaved to a sick system of Greed and Self Interest.