Monday, 23 May 2016
Day 283 - Don't be Hasty
Online Dictionary Definition
acting or done quickly and without thought or care.
I relate heavily to this experience of acting hastily, rashly, or impetuously often in seeking the most efficient, quickest, inexpensive route in order to fulfill a need or want within myself. This is a problem, as I realize that most of the time, this is done from a standpoint of ego, in trying to demonstrate or prove how 'effective' (or any number of other positive attributes) I can be... with the results often being either poor quality, counterproductive, or complete ineffectiveness, to the extent that the point must be walked again, with me looking back and saying to myself 'Had I been patient the first time, I could have done things correctly in one try'.
Acting rashly can also occur from the starting point of anger, or fear, as me seeking to resolve an issue as quickly as possible, so that I can move from the negative experience, on to something more positive. Sometimes I am trying to bury or hide a point of anxiety or conflict within myself, which I would rather not deal with in the present moment. Often I fear that I will not be able to find a solution to resolve the issue.
Trying to circumvent, or shorten decision making by trying to reduce the amount of consideration or forethought that is required to go into the decision making process is ultimately compromising. I realize that this often presents a problem in my life, especially when trying to estimate jobs which often take twice or three times the amount of time and effort which I originally thought.
Acting rashly is something I have done for as long as I can remember. It is how I have learned to cope with, or try to circumvent problems, or find the easy way shortcut, rather than considering that the problems (from the starting point of myself) must be resolved and completely cleared, or they will arise again, as is the nature of the process of facing our self-created consequence.
I have observed this point over the years, and in doing so, I have learned to slow myself down and be a little more patient, particularly with regards to not allowing others to rush me to the extent that I will be likely to make errors in judgment. This has helped me greatly, specifically in my approach to work, and in assisting me to refrain from careless and impulsive spending. Patience also allows for the possibility of moments of realization which would never have occurred to me, had I acted rashly or hastily.
This patience has to be balanced, in that I must take care to not be so patient as to become lax and complacent, or suppress myself completely within a point of practicing restraint. I realize that we are most often under some form of stress, be it time, money, work, or relationship stress, these all have impact on our actions, yet we must correct ourselves so as to not allow ourselves to be directed and controlled by these dynamics.
Even subtle rashness or hastiness can have significant impact when we act without considering the consequences we will have to face in the event that we find out we have outwitted ourselves.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to act hastily and rashly, without full consideration for what will be the consequences of my actions. I realize that this is a point of me desiring to avoid facing myself, for fear of discovering and having to change my own dishonesty, and thus having to give up some habit or some way of thinking or behaving, thus fearing that I will be bored to death, not become who I want to be, or that I will have no reason to live. I recognize this as the mind attempting to bully me with false fears with no substance in reality.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being bored to death. I realize that I must create myself here in each moment as what is best for all life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear discovering my own dishonesty and fear having to change each point within myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having to give up some habit or way of thinking, and within that fear that I will become bored to death. I realize that the point of my existence is now based on my commitment to stand for and as life, and to honor life with all of my thoughts, words, and deeds so that I may bring myself to the point of nothingness, and life can be born in the physical as what is best for all life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I will be ashamed of myself and want to give up on myself were I to slow myself down, face myself, forgive myself, and correct myself within walking my process to self-honesty.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I will have no reason to live if I were to face myself within slowing down in and as breath awareness, when I see that I am acting hastily and rashly, without consideration for the consequences I am creating within acting rashly or hastily.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try to circumvent, or shorten the decision making process by trying to reduce the amount of consideration or forethought that is required to go into decision making.
I commit myself to embrace patience within my process so that I may become very effective in my awareness of when, where, why, and how I am acting rashly and hastily in my reality... thus compromising myself. I realize that I am capable of directing myself as being patient within my process by way of breath awareness.
I commit myself to embrace discipline within my process of addressing the problem of acting rashly and hastily in my moment to moment life experiences.
I commit myself to address the source points of why I am acting rashly or hastily within my process, so that I may discover what it is that is causing me to maintain myself within a state of aversion.
I commit myself to seek the best option, and the best solution which would solve the problems in my life so that I may no longer be directed and controlled by 'trying' to be good, or efficient, or intelligent, or wise, or noble... or any other positive attribute. I simply realize that there is no choice, as any choice would indicate self-interest.
When and as I see myself acting rashly or hastily, I slow myself down and breathe, bringing myself into awareness here in patience, so that I may carefully consider what it is which I am creating in the moment, and how the consequences of my actions will play out. I commit myself to choose only that which supports life... decisions which I can live with, and stay in alignment with the principle of what is best for all life.
Don't be Hasty - Treebeard