Monday, 30 May 2016

Day 289 - More on Trust

Met up with some awesome horses today while on my bike ride.

I cannot trust myself when I am thinking about something - because what I think is in no way guaranteed to occur, in fact things rarely turn out the way I had thought they would.

I cannot trust my ideas or opinions, as they are of a limited perspective of reality and subject to my own personal, programmed biases.

I cannot trust myself when I am in a reaction, as my reaction would indicate that it is not me, but a response within the starting point of fear, based on survival instincts, and there is no telling what consequence that will create.

I cannot trust any personal desires, as I have seen how in the past they have led me into disastrous consequential issues which took way longer to recover from than the incidents which caused them, if I was lucky enough to recover at all.

I cannot trust my instincts, as there is a great deal of uncertainty within that.

I cannot trust relationships, as people in the world are inherently deceptive, despite the fact that virtually everyone will say they are honest.

I cannot trust the system, as according to the system, I am easily expendable, and of little financial value.

I cannot trust corrupt government leaders, obviously

I cannot trust what I know, as my education has been for the purpose of keeping me suppressed within the idea that I must compete, and slave my life away in order to make a profit off of life

I cannot trust knowledge itself, as knowledge is information designed to protect a hierarchical system of self interest.

I cannot trust the morals I was taught by parents and teachers, as they have only supported the deception, as beliefs in separation from what is here.

So the only thing that I can really trust (which can be cross referenced with another person) is that I am here, and unless I die, I am going to have to face a lot of 'discomforting' points in this reality.  So within that realization, I find the only solution which is to commit myself to embrace what I have created myself as within all of this... so that I can stop living in self-interest and rather walk in awareness.  I commit myself to walk with myself breath by breath, so that I may completely stop any and all deception within myself, and in so doing I may change my outer world to one that supports and honors all life equally.

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