In my dream last night – I traveled to China with 2 friends for a vacation. Upon arriving we were very nervous and excited to be in this strange new place. I recall acting on this emotion and walking around in wonder. I found a deal on 3 months supply of Chinese food, and it was delivered to our apartment right when we arrived. The landlord showed us to our apartment, which had a very strange entrance. There were 3 sets of ladders to get to the doorway, each ladder was unlocked only after climbing the previous ladder – awkward entrance I thought to myself. One of my friends and I went out for a drive which triggered the main theme to the dream. I was not in full awareness during the drive, and as a consequence of that – we got lost. This was somewhat disastrous as we had no way of finding our way back to our apartment, as nobody spoke English.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to act on or out of emotion. When I find myself compromising myself through acting in emotional response, I stop and breathe to clear myself and then direct myself to take responsibility to stand equal to my words, speaking words which support myself and all.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to expand my awareness of myself and so grow myself within directing myself in the best interest of all.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as being bad with directions. I realize that this definition of myself is based in a personality construct I have created for myself as an excuse not to take responsibility for myself to be in full awareness of what I am doing at all times.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to desire to be more than who I am here in coveting praise and to be seen as special or more worthy than others. I realize that Universal Equality is the ultimate goal and therefore praise, credit and rewards are relatively insignificant.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define process as awkward, in wanting to skip steps. I realize I created the system the way it is in spite of myself - therefore I must work with the existing system the way it currently exists - so that I can learn how to take responsibility to change it to support all Life Equally.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take out frustrations on the physical reality, as if to blame the physical reality for not doing what I want it to do. When and as I see myself reacting in agitation or frustration towards the physical, I stop and breathe to clear myself within the realization that I must take responsibility to stop emotional reactions within myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear getting lost in a strange place.