In my dream last night
– I traveled to China with 2 friends for a vacation. Upon arriving
we were very nervous and excited to be in this strange new place. I
recall acting on this emotion and walking around in wonder. I found a
deal on 3 months supply of Chinese food, and it was delivered to our
apartment right when we arrived. The landlord showed us to our
apartment, which had a very strange entrance. There were 3 sets of
ladders to get to the doorway, each ladder was unlocked only after
climbing the previous ladder – awkward entrance I thought to
myself. One of my friends and I went out for a drive which
triggered the main theme to the dream. I was not in full awareness
during the drive, and as a consequence of that – we got lost.
This was somewhat disastrous as we had no way of finding our way back
to our apartment, as nobody spoke English.
I forgive myself that I
have accepted and allowed myself to act on or out of emotion.
When I find myself compromising myself through acting in emotional
response, I stop and breathe to clear myself and then direct myself
to take responsibility to stand equal to my words, speaking words
which support myself and all.
I forgive myself that I
have not accepted and allowed myself to expand my awareness of myself
and so grow myself within directing myself in the best interest of
all.
I forgive myself that I
have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as being bad with
directions. I realize that this definition of myself is based in a
personality construct I have created for myself as an excuse not to
take responsibility for myself to be in full awareness of what I am
doing at all times.
I forgive myself that I
have accepted and allowed to desire to be more than who I am here in
coveting praise and to be seen as special or more worthy than others.
I realize that Universal Equality is the ultimate goal and therefore
praise, credit and rewards are relatively insignificant.
I forgive myself that I
have accepted and allowed myself to define process as awkward, in
wanting to skip steps. I realize I created the system the way it is
in spite of myself - therefore I must work with the existing system
the way it currently exists - so that I can learn how to take
responsibility to change it to support all Life Equally.
I forgive myself that I
have accepted and allowed myself to take out frustrations on the
physical reality, as if to blame the physical reality for not doing
what I want it to do. When and as I see myself reacting in
agitation or frustration towards the physical, I stop and breathe to
clear myself within the realization that I must take responsibility
to stop emotional reactions within myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear getting lost in a strange place.
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