174 - False Comfort

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to do less than what I am able to do - still allowing myself to drift off into states of disregarding my responsibilities within the belief that I have lots of time to get things done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget to stop myself and push my resistances with breathing each time I find myself drifting into mind states of comfort and relaxation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can just do what I want when I want as if I am not accountable to myself or anyone and I can just zone out and allow myself to go on autopilot. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be controlled by the feeling of discomfort, and in so desire to feel comfortable as the positive energy experience of myself, rather than push myself in all situations to face myself and face my fears in aligning myself here in doing what is necessary to be done. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect disciplining myself.  I realize that for a very long time I have lived in rebellion towards myself and the systems within myself not realizing that the key to transcending my ego/mind is to stop rebelling against myself and to confront myself in each moment as breath here. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can escape myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard some moments because I feel uncomfortable - in this not treating each moment equally but going into positive and negative and neutral experiences of myself. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can exist in two worlds as the mind and the physical in separation of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed and controlled by the fear of 'what may happen' rather than moving myself here in doing what is necessary to be done. 

I commit myself to take directive principle of myself to push my resistances, not just in writing but to make the change physical - to become the directive principle of myself in each breath

I commit myself to honor my commitment to myself in realizing that although it may not feel like it at the time -  taking responsibility to push my resistances is the path that will lead me to self-trust within stopping undesirable consequences.

I commit myself to realize the opportunity of each moment to push my resistances and free myself from mind controlled living. 

I commit myself to perfect myself within taking directive principle of myself rather than allowing others to dictate to me who I am and what I should do.