Thursday September 24, 2020
Pickleball was fun tonight. I was playing well. I have found a new card game on the internet that has had my attention for the past few days. It began as a physical card game about 20-30 years ago, and I have wanted to play the game for a long time but never took the time to learn it. Its strange, because the game is something I would have enjoyed in the past. As I was considering why I have never got into it before, I realized there were a few reasons.
Firstly, because I never knew anyone who played, and there were no group gatherings I knew of in the area.
Secondly, I never invested the time and effort to find groups that played.
Thirdly, I was uncertain about unknown factors such as cost, time, and interestingly there was a slight fear because partly due to my religious programming, I thought that there was something evil about the game. So because of my judgments and assumptions, I did not investigate and so missed the opportunity to enjoy a really intriguing and cool pastime.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make judgments and assumptions about a card game which I judged as evil without investigation
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear putting for the time and effort to investigate for myself ways I could have explored how this game worked
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be driven by subtle programmed fears and uncertainty as opposed to seeing and testing things for myself
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pass up on opportunities that would have allowed for expansion and self development which could have created more growth and more opportunities beyond that
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