Sunday, 13 September 2020

Day 424 - Faulty Ideas

 Sunday September 13, 2020



Played computer games all day.  Major breakthrough in the pet goat decode which I have been following.  Seems to be suggesting something big is imminent.  As for myself, I have been hiding my emotional distress in the knowledge that it is causing anger and frustration in others.  How can I get over this passive aggressive frame of mind?  Confidence is low and compounded by uncertainty.  Have to find a way to break through in a way that I can regain some form of dignity.  I had an idea of how things would go and it failed, exposing the idea as a farce.  I realize I should not take things personally, because it is not me that is the failure, but my ideas which are a manifestation of me trying to solve my problems and the problems of the world.  


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide my emotional distress in the knowledge that it causes distress in others.  I realize that I must take steps to regain confidence and so create a workable solution in order to stop perpetuating the problem. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to berate and sabotage myself because of the ideas I created as solutions which did not go as planned.  I realize the necessary step to be taken, which is to toss the idea and create something new that is suitable to the problem.   

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take things personally and so go into extended periods of suppression.  I realize that this is not the solution and it only aggravates the situation for everyone.  

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