Friday, 20 May 2011

Heaven Camping?

I was a Christian for about 15 years. I remember all the feelings and emotions that went with it. The being born again, praising God and all the music and everything. What did I know? For all I knew this is what God wanted me to do! So I just did it. Why? Because I felt terrible inside about how I had mistreated others. I felt horrible that I wasn't myself in life, I was double-minded. So I was easily manipulated by religion because I felt so broken inside.

When I discovered Desteni, I had somewhat recovered from the brokenness, but not completely of course. I had figured out quite a few things through personal introspection and observing others within Christianity. I had broadened my research of what was going on in the universe and on earth as opposed to just accepting the limited view the bible (christian interpretation) presented.

A couple of major points came up from that. Firstly, I could never figure out why the bible had mentioned 2x in the NT that we were PRE-DESTINED. How could that be? How could God have figured out every eventuality in all its complex infinite possibilities? That I could not understand, yet there it was. We were pre-programmed. So that was explained by Desteni and made sense when I heard it from them.

The next point I came to ultimately consider was that - if this world was so completely messed up, full of liars, then who's the biggest liar of all? HIM!!!!!

That was the big realization. Yes. God the big F***'ing liar. How could it be any other way? He who creates liars is thus a liar... no better. So I figured it out. Equality was the answer and I was bent on fixing all the crap I had allowed in my life. It was extensive.

Now I look back and just shake my head. I'm thankful all that is over, because it wasn't real. There may have been some good feelings and happy feelings, some emotional feelings. But it wasn't real, because the big fat lie of existence had been exposed for what it was. A lie.

So this rapture that's supposed to come. I know what they all feel like. Praying and hoping. Waiting for a savior... that's not coming. Sad. But I'm not sad for them and I don't pity them. Sorry, there's hell on earth that has to be fixed. That's the agenda according to the principle of loving thy neighbor as thyself. I stand by that as equal with me as my words as who I am.

I don't fully understand why I was able to figure it out to this point where I see the big lie, but I know that I had to have looked within myself considerably to do it. There's no other way. Authentic self-honesty. Killer self-honesty. That's what it takes. And it has to be effective and powerful enough to kill your own giant ego... and I mean giant... its massive. So best get busy sorting yourself out. Because if you don't, well then you don't matter to existence. Bye.

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