Day 304

From Wed November  23, 2016

Why did I not change in my life?

Why did I not do something epic?

You have to give everything.

Practice directed exertion.

What can I do to support life?

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to avoid facing myself, running from myself and justifying it with beliefs that I am good, or doing well, or I have done a lot for others

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be double minded in separating myself from who I am by living as multiple characters.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I do not know how to draw the line within directing myself in what I should do and what I should not do.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live my life without directing myself in the way that is best for all life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to say things that sound really good and honorable, yet not fully apply myself in creating myself equal to what I say.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to con myself into beliefs because I have feared facing myself, and feared being a shill, a con, and a deceiver.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be a deceiver of myself and so others, and within that fear facing that point within myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hope that someday I will change, rather than committing myself to change in every moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to push off of others in order to change myself.

I forgive myself for preventing myself from realizing how to push myself to change physically.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become stagnant, ignorant of what is taking place in the physical reality.

I forgive myself for not realizing myself as the point of change in my reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to constantly try to feel better, rather than pushing myself to do what is best.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel awkward when I make effort to do what is best.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel embarrassed when I make effort to change myself and do what is best.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make excuses to exempt myself from working to change, so that I can exist in self interest.

I commit myself to pursue change every day

I commit myself to do things that support life every day, as my gift to life.

I commit myself to recognize how I can improve on my process of change.