March 29
Got part of the ceiling finished and some bulkhead corners. Had some dinner and feeling a bit tired. Fired my bow a few times. Tough times ahead. Developing self trust, I think. Catching myself trying to be a hero in my mind, as the person that is so great at everything, an expert worthy of praise and honor and glory. Sadly, theres nothing really that great about me as per my track record. Astrologer Shaley saying to stop having violent thoughts towards self, as in 'you suck', and the failure card came up. Something I have definitely struggled with.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fail to set goals in my life
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fail to take reprehensibility to understand myself so that I could create goals that are achievable and attainable.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get down on myself for seeing myself as a failure
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as a failure
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lose sight of what I need to do because of self judgments
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not follow through with plans of what needs to be done
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to procrastinate and get lost in ideas and idealism's and so become distracted from my goals
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt myself in my ability to achieve goals that would benefit myself as well as others
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to dream of being a hero in my mind so that I can feel pride and honor in separation from my physical existence.
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ReplyDeletemade a spelling mistake :-):-):-)
DeleteCool William, thanks for sharing! Definately can relate to this perception and experience of failure. What i found is that it becomes a habit and whole pre-set attitude towards self and ones life participation - what i also found, is that i am able to change and forgive that by in fact learning from my mistakes and perfect my self, keeping in mind or rather in Self that the failure-character is not something original to me, it is a program, a system i have taken on and built within myself, so i am as well able to deconstruct and change it.
ReplyDeleteGreetings
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