Day 376 - Controlling and Vague

Controlling

Desire for or want of Power and control.  Ring of power. Unrecognized within self.  Unrealized self valuation as equal. Undeveloped self worth.  Desire to be better than.  Believing/fearing self to be less than. Grown out of fear of survival.  Justified within a system of subconscious beliefs and self-righteousness. 


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to control others for my own self interest, profit, or gain.  I realize this is not acceptable within living the principle of life as it is a system of hierarchical and enslavement. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be naive and negligent in recognizing the desire for power and control within myself which recognizing it within others.  I realize that when I see this construct within others, I must look within myself to first clear myself of any desire for power and control.  Only then may I address the point with great care and consideration of all. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to discredit/disqualify myself through not seeing or realizing my equal value, as the inherent equal value existent in all beings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect the development of my own self worth through distractions. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect the development of my own self worth through fear of being exposed as less than/better than. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect the development of my own self worth through greed and the desire for more things. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect the development of my own self worth through desire for knowledge. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect the development of my own self worth through passivity

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect the development of my own self worth through the belief that I am a good person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect the development of my own self worth through the desire to be better than others. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect the development of my own self worth through the mental fear of survival self defense mechanism

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect the development of my own self worth through the subconscious, self righteous belief that I am just fine the way I am. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect the development of my own self worth through the belief that I am getting revenge through self-devaluation. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to indirectly manipulate others through desire for power and control.



Vague

Unspecific.  Diversion. Aversion. Unaware. Uncertain. Unclear. Irresponsible.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be unspecific in communication with others, so allowing for ambiguity where I or others may divert from the responsibility which is necessary to be dealt with in order to serve self interest. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to avert or avoid directly dealing with an issue so that I may avoid responsibilities of dealing with what must be dealt with. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in a state of unawareness whereby I have allowed myself to become uncertain or confused as to that which is required to be addressed, forgiven, changed and corrected in accordance with the principle of life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be unclear in communication to the point that would allow for irresponsibility to take the place of responsibility.