Its a nice summer evening, and I just finished a bike ride around my neighborhood. Refreshing. And then, I saw it.
3 People standing in their driveway. A couple and a neighbor I guess. They were talking, and... smiling. You know that smile... That fake, phony smile people hide behind, to make it seem like they are enjoying each others company? Well there it was, glaring.
I see this often. I cannot express to you in words, how much it sickens me to see this. Here is the reflection of me in my world. Billions are suffering, and our entire lives are wasted working in vain, only to bring us to the brink of annihilation. People cram the highways to get to work in the morning, as if to say "bring death quickly please!"
And here I see a fake smile, a taunting reminder of the totality of what I have become. Fake.
Sadly, I have hid behind the fake smile myself. I'm sure someone has looked at me and been as disgusted as I myself have been.
I also saw an amazing butterfly on my bike ride. It was lying at the side of the road, unable to move. Probably hit by a car. I picked it up in my hands. "Someone will think I'm gay if they see me" the thought crossed my mind. I forgive myself for thinking that. I wonder how the butterfly was feeling. Was it in total excruciating pain... as I have felt at times in my life? There was nothing I could do for it if it was. I cannot even tell if it was in pain, I am so detached from myself as all life in my reality. I placed it back on the grass and continued on.
I then came up behind a young boy walking on the road. I sensed he was a little frightened. I nodded to him as he smiled at me and gave a little wave. Was his smile real? It appeared so, but perhaps he was only smiling out of fear. There is so much fear in our world. Being a somewhat larger male, I often get the distinct impression people are afraid when I pass them on the street. It is another sad reminder of my world.
How can we continue living in absolute despair and denial like this? The only reason I am suffering this fakeness, is because I have found an answer to it all. The undeniable truth of our reality, which is that we are all responsible for what this world has become. I have allowed the world to exist like this... because I did not stand up. I have just let it happen! I didn't realize it was me all along. How could I?
Well, I was afraid of myself...of facing myself. It appeared overwhelming to me. So I just took the easiest path. I didn't realize that all of existence is a reflection of me. This is a hard realization. But there is no other way. I simply must forgive myself. Or go mad and die. This is the bitter truth. There is no escape. So I walk in self forgiveness and self honesty so that I can change myself, and thus change my world. So that all life is honored. So that we may create heaven on earth. Without fear.
Our process, thanks to Desteni, is specific. We must purify and perfect ourselves from all forms of abuse of the mind/ego. This is done through the Desteni I process program where we are taught how to remove our pre-programmed beliefs, judgements, fears and opinions etc about life, so that we can truly live in this reality as equals. All must take responsibility to do this. There is no other way. Its time we take responsibility to do what is really necessary to be done to end the madness we exist as. In doing this, we will create heaven on earth, for everyone.