Monday September 14, 2020
Disengaged
Brown nosing
Farce - no judgment
Out of alignment
I see so much brown nosing in peoples relationships. People acquiescing and taking the role of 'less than' out of fear of losing some kind of status with another person, or additionally because they are afraid of standing up to someone whom they believe to be some kind of 'authority' figure who has 'more knowledge' than they do. To me it is quite clear, and frankly sickening. The world would be a far better place if we could all stop this one point. Not denying my own issues, I have been systematically raised and trained in the art of childish, foolish and mentally-limited behaviors. For the short term I am working on rebuilding my alignments within self trust, not being harsh or condemning myself inadvertently. This is just where I am at.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become disengaged with people and relationships in the world
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to avoid speaking up out of uncertainty
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to diminish myself in reaction to the belief that there is some unknown part of myself that activates when I engage and hence creates mysterious problems for which I am unable to manage and/or control. I realize that fears such as these do not exempt me from working on myself towards learning to become self responsible
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