Day 414 - Dreams and Anger

Saturday August 29, 2020

Dream 1

I was ordering food at a foreign pizza place.  The people were of eastern origin, like Indonesian or Indian.  I was asking how much the pizza was, and the guy selling responded by showing me a box of change.  I took some out and gave him a toonie, but it did not seem right.   There were a bunch of people around and no one was social distancing which was fine by me.  The man then came out with a large pepperoni pizza for everyone to have a slice.  There were  some young people there as well who did not really care or understand about the whole covid situation. 

I see the point of the value of money has been ingrained for a long time as being based on a systematic valuation which is now changing as is how we value goods, people, and service.  

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fall into the fear of lack complex through attributing a false systematized financial value to that which is presented here as myself.  I realize that I must do my part in contributing to the value of life itself through my participation and contribution.   

Dream 2

I was working for a large global corporation driving with a fleet of trucks.  Our group got in an argument with some men over something, and the men acting in anger took a large forklift type machine and skewered our trucks.  I was thinking how they would have to pay for the damages through the legal system.  I then arrived at a movie theater.  On screen there was 2 men fighting, and one violently hit the other in the nose which made an notable sound.  Then the other man was on the floor and was being severely beaten so bad that his tongue began coming out of his mouth and I sensed that he was dying.  It was kind of gruesome.        

I see how blame plays out in different ways which can lead to acts of revenge and violence.  

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that revenge and violence is the solution.  I realize that there are different ways of addressing situations, and that firstly I must see the starting point of what is causing issues so that I may accurately assess what is the best course of action, rather than rashly lashing out in anger which could potentially be a false association which is likely to miss the point all together.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I can take revenge through a legal system imposed by a system of enslavement.  I realize that I must take responsibility for myself in dealing with issues that I myself have created.  

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to miss the point of my resonance (while playing a computer game) where I get upset at some action that has taken place and immediately go into blame and anger.  I realize that despite the fact that it is just a game, it is still consequential and thus all of my reactions are relevant to what I have accepted and allowed, therefore I must take responsibility for myself in these moments to realize what I have done to create the issue, and how I can improve myself in my response to incidents that would normally provoke me to points of anger and frustration.