Day 408 - Self Deception

 Sunday August 23, 2020

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself in my capacity to see dimensions of myself which would enable me to expand and grow in self honesty

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect responsibility, not taking time to understand and realize what exactly is my responsibility and what that entails, what is the definition/meaning, and what is required for me to do

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take pride in my relationship to what I have created as myself here in this reality, as when I observe myself in all dimensions possible, I see that I have been completely irresponsible, in a sense committing evil in trying to escape myself and my world in believing that to be the solution to myself in self interest and self pity.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deny the reality of the physical existence acting within and as an outflow of reactionary intelligence based in fear and self interest.  I realize I must change myself into the principle of life in every breath not directed or controlled by energy

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pretend to be something that I am not and so become a 'try hard' in attempting to get others to believe that I am something that I am not in order to gain acceptance from others thus validating my self definition through my conscious mind.  I realize that validation such as this is self deception and thus unacceptable

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to condemn myself in judging and defining myself as 'corrupt' or evil so that I could take revenge on myself for the feeling of humiliation through a mental projection of myself seeing myself as dis-empowered, less than and thus pitiful and unable to change myself, which is self deception.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear facing the evil in this life in the realization that there is really nothing good here.  I embrace that fact and from this starting point I am able to move myself to the starting point of here and self creation. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear creating myself as life here in each moment through living the principle of what is best for all of existence.  I realize that there is nothing to fear and that fear only continues to re-emerge until I face the fear and create myself as life here.