I recognize my own shallowness as of late, and so here I offer my apology for this, as well as not blogging for some time. I have been spending too much time trying to consider infinite perspectives of endless problems and (non)issues (which I can have a tendency to do), all the while forgetting to give ample consideration to the foundation, for which I find our world rather abrupt at the task of reminding me... that is, when I am not so busy wallowing in regret or distraction/game/comfort for that matter. Video games are sometimes cool, but rapidly become repetitive and tiresome.
Within that, there has been Fear of letting others down, reluctance to stand out in a way that may put myself in a position where I would potentially be the cause of any discord or added problems. In some ways my life/process has been persistent in presenting me with some moderately perplexing and innately awkward challenges. I do enjoy a good riddle, however like most people, I can at times struggle with finding the appropriate solution. Self doubt and uncertainty have also played their parts, as I am still walking the point/word (self) trust, which has raised some interesting questions.
As always, there are more points to discuss, but for now I will finish with some self forgiveness statements.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be shallow, in not considering the full scope of the problem and jumping to infinite perspectives while neglecting the foundation.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by the fear of letting others down. I realize that this is a mental justification used to avoid facing my problems.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear standing out in a way that would potentially cause discord/problems. I realize that this fear is hypothetical in nature and therefore a mental projection and not what is here as myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will not find the most appropriate solution to problems. I realize that any solution I come up with can eventually lead to other, more appropriate solutions.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt myself within uncertainty. I realize I still have trust issues to work out within myself and my process.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take things personally and blame myself for what should be common ground issues requiring the support of others.
I am grateful for all the support.
