Day 229

I am still feeling a little ill today, and as a consequence of this, I have noticed a slight despondence within myself.  The predominant experience of myself is negative, a struggle, with a random dash of momentary enjoyment.  Illness does not negate our responsibility to breathing.  This illness is showing me what I have accepted and allowed myself to become, as virtually powerless to change (the illness).  This is a result of me believing I could get away with the egotistical belief that I was better than and had control over the physical.

As it exists, the reality of consequence is a relentless and somewhat unforgiving teacher.  We only have so much time allotted to figure ourselves out in this world, and once it is figured out, it seems there is even less time and opportunity to have a significant impact.   Consciousness as the system continuously locks us into patterns which increasingly wall us in and thus prevent expansion.  Had we understood (Equality) from the beginning, certainly any one of us would have been more influential and/or famous than Jesus and Hitler combined.

Nevertheless, we learn to create ourselves as life despite what the system dictates to us to be, realizing that all potential stems from here, through self forgiveness and realization.  First is the knowledge based realization as understanding which must be applied within writing/speaking ourselves out... this moves us to deeper realizations where there is the physical/actual point of self-realization, which is so profound and undeniable that the physical change is inherent, instant, and automatic dissolving the point completely.