Day 209

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be specific enough with myself - as I acted on an idea I had, yet it did not materialize because I did not fully consider how to apply it, laying out each step in specificity before I went ahead with it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed and controlled by the mind as the feeling of tiredness when I begin to write self forgiveness statements.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed and controlled by the positively charged energetic feeling of relief as having completed a long and arduous task, and so within that allow my mind to seek another positive experience of myself as a reward.  In that, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to - when I catch my mind wandering in search of the comfort of positive energy - attempt to blame myself rather than immediately apply self forgiveness and corrective application on the spot/point.  Within that,  I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that me - seeing the starting point/corresponding consequence - and thus stopping the thought is sufficient - when in fact I must fully address each point through self forgiveness and self-correction, so that I am fully here within complete awareness and responsibility to myself and my commitment to stand in each breath as Life as what is best for all.  Me desiring/wanting a reward of comfort or relief does not relieve or solve the deception and suffering that exists in this world.

Feeling of tiredness persisted - took a walk outside and it has passed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try and do too much and over step my practical responsibilities/alignment points in the belief that I can do everything by myself.  In that,  I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed and controlled by the feeling of guilt for not having been as effective as possible in the past.

I commit myself to continue to push my resistances of consistently establishing and directing my breath - as the trap I have set to catch my mind before consequence is created.

I commit myself to be specific with planning my days so that I do not allow any points of justification to hide beneath good ideas or good intentions.

I commit myself  to fully realize that while my body must rest - to 'rest' as who I am is to abdicate myself to the control of the mind - is unacceptable.   I must breathe every breath as me, and stand Equal to the physical as all that is here.

Within that I realize that the times which seem more difficult to direct my breathing (typically between noon and 4pm) it is essential that I push myself specifically during these times so as to maintain consistency and continuity of my application.