Day 221

I went to a business networking meeting today, where about 50 people gathered for a lunchtime discussion and some networking opportunities.  I had the chance to meet a few people and trade cards which may prove helpful in the future.  Everyone had an opportunity to stand up and introduce themselves to the group.  I strongly considered using my 30 seconds to preach about Equality, but decided it was a bit too extreme, so I would save it for another time lol.

It was interesting when I stood up and said my name and business name (Williams Handyman Service) - I did not speak with confidence, it was more of just say it and sit down.  Rather than commit myself to myself within the moment, I was just wanting to get it over with as quickly as possible, slightly ashamed, not just for myself but for everyone, that we are all part of this pretentious and delusional system of mental hierarchy, fear based judgments, denial, and self-interest.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed and controlled by a feeling of shame as everyone being part of a system of enslavement - rather I commit myself to stand fully as myself within this process of establishing myself in taking responsibility to stand as an Equal to All things.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear stopping an emotion/feeling energetic reaction within myself - because I fear that if I do not experience that emotion/feeling then I fear that I will become of 'no value' because I have no feeling, which is a lie because I can stop a feeling and create an expression of myself from nothing as an act of self-movement in freeing myself from the system of control.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that energetic feeling/emotion reactions give me value, and thus are a 'valuable experience' to be 'valued' and 'cherished' as a memory and/or a separate 'achieved value' within my mind in that is given valuation through its ability to produce 'good' energetic feelings within my physical body.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see what is causing the emotion/feeling reactions within myself, so that I can write it out and discover the starting point to see if it is aligned with what is best for all, or whether a point needs to be forgiven/changed within myself.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire an experience of myself in the future rather than being here with myself within breath and dealing with each situation as it arises in trusting myself to always do what is best for all in each moment of breath.

I commit myself to direct myself within moving myself as breath, as the point where I decide to bring myself to Life through becoming self-honest and pushing myself to live what is best for all in each moment.