178 - Self Support Blog of a Blog

This evening I read  A Psychologist's Journey to Life : 

Day 305: The Relationship between Self and Environment

I noticed some points were relevant  so I made a self-support video to walk myself through the points through speaking.  I then watched my self support video and made the observations and wrote out the points that needed to be addressed for myself. 

Small is in the big, big in small

Consequence in all that I do

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to realize the consequence of disregarding the small moments, not considering the “small” moments as of less value and therefore creating an accumulation effect through disproportionate valuation of myself within the unequal valuation of the 'small' and 'big' moments.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to submit myself to external pressures and not push myself beyond my minds limitations to transcend my perceived limitations that I have been programmed to believe about myself throughout my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow my relationship to my environment (through my mind) to influence me and direct me to go into mind states of irritability, restlessness and feelings of being trapped.  When and as I sense myself feeling irritable, restless, or trapped, I stop and clear my starting point to here within the realization that it is a mind state and I simply need to push through the point through doing something practical and supportive. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the excuse that 'at least I tried' within the projection of myself into my future in order to appease myself and comfort myself in the fear of failure - and so within that make myself believe that I am better than others because I 'tried'.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to challenge myself in all areas in my life and my mind creations, using the justification that I am trying or doing my best.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create the idea in my mind about doing something and then feel good about it, but then do not even actually do that thing that I thought of doing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create the feel good experience within myself while doing my blogs, and then forget what I wrote about the next day.  I realize I need to go over my blogs the next morning to solidify and clarify the points within myself until I transcend the point altogether. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed and controlled by self-interest as irritability and so hesitate and postpone things that need to be done, and so go into idleness and self-indulgence within myself as a point of submission to resistances and the desire to serve self-interest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to 'zone out' of myself, creating a distance between myself and the moment here, as the mind, neglecting my responsibility to be here in each moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define work as slavery and drudgery within myself (I have wrote this before – rewriting it for myself) and so deny myself opportunities to grow and expand myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to despair at the point of work within the projection that I will have to work for the rest of my life in situations I really do not enjoy., thus fearing my mind's projection, which is not here. 

I commit myself to regard all moments as equal and so accumulate myself to stand equal to all as myself in each moment. 

I commit myself to push myself more in my preconceived ideas where I have imposed limitations on myself. 

I commit myself to direct myself as opposed to allowing myself to be directed and controlled by my relationship to my environment. 

I commit myself to stop being influenced by future projections. 

I commit myself to do what is here - within the realization that there are no excuses

I commit myself to give to others as I would like to receive

I commit myself to stop postponing myself, and to investigate for myself the starting points of postponement when and as I see them in the moment. 

177 - Commitments

I am Here

I commit myself to stand Equal to the physical in this Life

I commit myself to realize that speaking words resonates within my physical body and changes me

I commit myself to re-program myself through writing, speaking words as me, and standing Equal to my words


I commit myself to speak words that support Equality of Life

I commit myself to speak myself to Life - OUT LOUD

I commit myself to speak myself to Life even when I don't feel like it


I commit myself to learn to take responsibility for myself, my world, and my words

I commit myself to challenge my self-imposed limitations of mind

I commit myself to transcending the desire for comfort and self-interest

I commit myself to create myself as the directive principle of myself

I commit myself to enjoy my opportunity to become Life

I commit myself to redefine fear as the sign that points the way and shows me what I need to face and direct

I commit myself to enjoy pushing my resistances when I am challenged by the mind/ego

I commit myself to Educate myself to understand the process of becoming Life

I commit myself to constantly work at being here in and as the physical through breathing

I commit myself to enjoy my work

I commit myself to redefine work - to creating myself as Life

I commit myself to sharing my process and realizations with others

I commit myself to re-peat these words that support Life until all points are transcended

I commit myself to continue to support myself through purifying my words until I stand absolute as Life here

I commit myself to realize that making videos is very supportive of myself and others

I commit myself to move myself for no other reason but to support what is Best for All

I commit myself to - when a personality system arise - stop myself within breath to see the starting point of what triggered the personality/pattern so I can forgive myself and speak or write words to change myself.

176 - Self-Punishment

A point has come up with me recently, I wake up in the morning already in a heavy, negative emotion of agitation or frustration.  Yesterday I did not realize exactly what the point was, there were a number of points which were triggered and I assume it is a culmination of multiple factors that I am facing from stress of my current situation to still hanging on to points of the past, and still some regrets.  Regrets because I realize I missed many points through not understanding myself.  There is also the point of me 'second guessing' myself as I feel constricted by my current situation.  I realize that I have to stop and breathe during these episodes, yet the other day the emotional reaction seemed to be so strong I did not push the resistance, but fell into resentment and neglect as the pattern of self-punishment in anger towards myself.

It took me a while before I allowed myself to see all the points connected, and from this I realize there is still a significant amount of self-forgiveness I have to do to stop myself from going into this pattern.  The point is also connected to my work/money situation which plays a significant role in this, as work has been a struggle recently, as winter is typically slower for me.  Additionally from this pattern comes all kinds of future projections, even though I do not know what the future holds, some play-outs appear to be inevitable as the consequences I have created for myself are significant.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed and controlled by the emotions of agitation and frustration when I wake up in the morning.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to punish myself when I feel the emotions of agitation and frustration

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to punish myself through neglect when I make future projections in my mind regarding how I think things will play out based on what I assume will happen based on my past.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my self-created future projections.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed and controlled the feelings of guilt, resentment and regret.  I realize I cannot change the past and all I can do is learn from it.  I also realize that punishing myself does not help the situation any and only makes it worse.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into temper tantrum mode where I believe that spiting myself and others through neglect will cause the situation to be over with sooner or somehow create a better consequence for me, when clearly it will not.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself to the ideas of myself I created in the past.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to understand myself and how I can use the best of my abilities to contribute to this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I don't know or understand where I can fit it or participate in something that is effective.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed and controlled by the belief that I have no motivation, when I realize I do not need a motivating factor to move myself besides the goal of Equality of life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish that someone would help me solve myself and/or desire to be special and get special attention.  I realize I am walking my process alone and no-one is able to assist me besides practical communication.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to escape myself and my consequences through neglect.  I realize I must face the consequences I have allowed so that I understand what I do creates consequences.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be someone more than who I am as my physical body here.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire an external form of stimuli in order for me to experience happiness within myself.  I realize I am the starting point of happiness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to others and so go into resentment through defining myself as a complete failure.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within thinking of all of the things I could have had/done for/with myself - go into a pattern of resentment, self-punishment and neglect, and so compromise myself even further in the pattern that has existed within me ever since I can remember.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow along within the pattern that I learned from my parents and teachers - that I have to punish myself - without realizing that there is a far better way to learn to discipline myself through gentle encouragement and breaking the problem down in order to see how it plays out and then gradually work it out step by step.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame myself for all the mistakes I made in the past - when if I simply had realized and understood from the start I would not have allowed myself to get into this whole mess to begin with. I realize this is an opportunity for me to face what I have accepted and allowed, and so change myself.



I commit myself to channel my resentment, guilt, frustration, agitation, anger and all other emotional reactions - into moving myself to become life as Equal to the physical.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself having a negative energy experience, to embrace myself within the realization that I have done a lot of work on myself through study and self-forgiveness, and so write myself out so I can see the starting point and pattern of what specifically triggered the emotional reaction - so that I can gently push the resistance and free myself from self-harm and punishment.

I commit myself to rather than punishing myself - to realize that punishing myself is not effective - but rather commit myself to achieving small goals for myself in reward to myself for all my hard work.

I commit myself to realize that there is no point fearing what is not here.

Day 175 - Self Judgement

When I woke up this morning and browsed the internet, something I saw triggered a negative energy experience.  I did not know what it was at first, I just knew there was this negative emotion(s) going on within me.   I began writing it out but the point did not reveal itself for a while afterwards.  As it turns out is was a combination of factors, as I reflected on myself and my experiences in the past looking for the pattern and what exactly triggered the experience.  I was feeling as if I had missed opportunities, and eventually realized that this as another form of denial, among other things.  I felt as though I had excluded part of myself from myself, as a subconscious thought, or what I would refer to as 'passive spite'.  

This was interesting to see, as I realized I was judging myself, which I then realized came from me passively judging myself, and projecting that judgement onto someone else as being spiteful for what I had seen as a passive judgment on me.  I had then taken the idea and projected it back onto myself, and so was feeling bad about myself because of this judgement.  Within this I eventually realized how the pattern was playing out, and how I was compromising myself because of this.   I did not realize at first how I was allocating the self-judgement in fear of myself missing out, and/or fear of failure, as it had triggered a past pattern of fear within myself.

      

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react towards a negative energy experience this morning in self judgement.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to - in judging others, reflect the judgement back onto myself in fear of failure, fear of loss, and fear of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project ideas of the mind onto myself and so judge myself because I feel as if another is judging me. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being judged by others and so judge myself in uncertainty of myself here in and as the a physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed and controlled by the negative energy experience of regret, where in the past as I have defined myself as having missed opportunities for myself. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exclude myself from others and myself through thoughts in my mind. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deny myself within the fear of failure and so wanting to give up on projects I have committed myself to doing. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being ashamed of myself for missing a point of responsibility within myself.  In so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the experience of shame as a negative energy experience of myself in my mind. 

I commit myself when and as I experience a negative energy experience within myself to stop myself, breathe and through writing, see where the point is coming from and how the pattern is playing out within me.   

I commit myself to stop fearing myself and stop judging myself and others as I realize that it always leads back to myself and so creates consequences for myself - therefore I commit myself to stop creating consequences for myself, and to stand until all is Equal in my reality and free of CON-sequence. 

174 - False Comfort

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to do less than what I am able to do - still allowing myself to drift off into states of disregarding my responsibilities within the belief that I have lots of time to get things done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget to stop myself and push my resistances with breathing each time I find myself drifting into mind states of comfort and relaxation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can just do what I want when I want as if I am not accountable to myself or anyone and I can just zone out and allow myself to go on autopilot. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be controlled by the feeling of discomfort, and in so desire to feel comfortable as the positive energy experience of myself, rather than push myself in all situations to face myself and face my fears in aligning myself here in doing what is necessary to be done. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect disciplining myself.  I realize that for a very long time I have lived in rebellion towards myself and the systems within myself not realizing that the key to transcending my ego/mind is to stop rebelling against myself and to confront myself in each moment as breath here. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can escape myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard some moments because I feel uncomfortable - in this not treating each moment equally but going into positive and negative and neutral experiences of myself. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can exist in two worlds as the mind and the physical in separation of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed and controlled by the fear of 'what may happen' rather than moving myself here in doing what is necessary to be done. 

I commit myself to take directive principle of myself to push my resistances, not just in writing but to make the change physical - to become the directive principle of myself in each breath

I commit myself to honor my commitment to myself in realizing that although it may not feel like it at the time -  taking responsibility to push my resistances is the path that will lead me to self-trust within stopping undesirable consequences.

I commit myself to realize the opportunity of each moment to push my resistances and free myself from mind controlled living. 

I commit myself to perfect myself within taking directive principle of myself rather than allowing others to dictate to me who I am and what I should do. 

173 - No More Excuses

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the fear of getting into debt as an excuse to allow myself to go into neglect of myself, and not push myself into alignment with myself.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the excuse that I am risking too much by moving myself to work towards getting into alignment with myself.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the excuse that I am not good enough and so allow myself to not move myself in doing what I must do to align myself with myself as what is best for all.


I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that my responsibility to myself is my responsibility to others as me, and in so by allowing myself to be directed and controlled by fear I am allowing fear to exist in myself and so projecting it onto others.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the excuse that I don't have enough time to get things done and so allow myself to neglect my primary responsibilities to myself.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the excuse that I want to do something else right now and so abdicate my primary responsibilities to myself.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to procrastinate in doing my responsibilities because I fear being embarrassed by the fact that others might see me as a responsible human being.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold on to resentment of myself based on my past acceptances and allowances and so allow resentment to direct and control me in self-compromise.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rebel against myself in fear of myself because it seems easier at the time to forget about my responsibilities.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear failure and the consequences of failure.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will be ripped off by someone.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being audited by the revenue agency and fear being fined.


I commit myself to accept myself here and trust myself in being responsible and competent in getting my responsibilities done.

I commit myself to realize I have no choice

I commit myself to realize that there is no failure in being self-honest with myself

I commit myself to stop all fears within me through facing myself and directing myself within my process to stand for what is best for all in each moment.

I commit myself to push through resistances throughout my day with consistency in realizing my opportunity here to stand for life.

I commit myself to face myself in each moment, and should I find myself drifting into states of procrastination, to write myself out so that I can address and correct the points that need to be directed in self-honesty.

Day 172 - Routine Self Support

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to skip my routine this morning and so not set or accomplish my goal for the day.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not push my resistance to work towards getting things done that I needed to get done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my directive principle of myself through drifting into states of comfort and relaxation when there were things I needed to get done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I don't know what I want.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect outlining and establishing specific goals for myself that need to be addressed within this current lifetime process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to treat moments and days differently based on energy values of how I have valued days of the week, where Monday  Tuesday  and Wednesday are negative energy experiences - Thursday and Friday are neutral energy experiences and Saturday and Sunday are positive energy experiences of myself.  I realize that all moments must be Equal and not defined within energy experiences of how I have programmed myself to feel based on days of the week.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear future consequence based on cycles of my past, and therefore repeat cycles of the past because I have allowed myself to be enslaved to the idea that I cannot transcend the past within my mind.


I commit myself to follow my morning routine as soon as I wake up and push my resistances to get things done that need to be done

I commit myself to when and as I see myself going into a state of comfort and relaxation - breathe, and be aware of what I am accepting and allowing within myself so that I may push through the resistance to relax in comfort so as to not allow myself to fall into the subtle trap of self-deception and self-dishonesty.

I commit myself to set my goals for the day and for my lifetime process

I commit myself to stick to my goals and my routine so that I may take responsibility for myself in supporting myself and all in self-honesty.

I commit myself to take directive principle of myself and to not allow myself to abdicate it to anyone or any situation.

I commit myself to establish self trust and communication with myself and my physical body through self-honesty so that I do not compromise myself in any situation that would cause consequences that I will end up regretting in the future.

I commit myself to know myself without question.