Day 172 - Routine Self Support

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to skip my routine this morning and so not set or accomplish my goal for the day.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not push my resistance to work towards getting things done that I needed to get done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my directive principle of myself through drifting into states of comfort and relaxation when there were things I needed to get done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I don't know what I want.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect outlining and establishing specific goals for myself that need to be addressed within this current lifetime process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to treat moments and days differently based on energy values of how I have valued days of the week, where Monday  Tuesday  and Wednesday are negative energy experiences - Thursday and Friday are neutral energy experiences and Saturday and Sunday are positive energy experiences of myself.  I realize that all moments must be Equal and not defined within energy experiences of how I have programmed myself to feel based on days of the week.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear future consequence based on cycles of my past, and therefore repeat cycles of the past because I have allowed myself to be enslaved to the idea that I cannot transcend the past within my mind.


I commit myself to follow my morning routine as soon as I wake up and push my resistances to get things done that need to be done

I commit myself to when and as I see myself going into a state of comfort and relaxation - breathe, and be aware of what I am accepting and allowing within myself so that I may push through the resistance to relax in comfort so as to not allow myself to fall into the subtle trap of self-deception and self-dishonesty.

I commit myself to set my goals for the day and for my lifetime process

I commit myself to stick to my goals and my routine so that I may take responsibility for myself in supporting myself and all in self-honesty.

I commit myself to take directive principle of myself and to not allow myself to abdicate it to anyone or any situation.

I commit myself to establish self trust and communication with myself and my physical body through self-honesty so that I do not compromise myself in any situation that would cause consequences that I will end up regretting in the future.

I commit myself to know myself without question.

Day 139 – Reason to Live

Woke up this morning and it occurred to me.  It’s Saturday.  I remember being a kid, Saturdays were so fun, I would get up in great anticipation and watch cartoons, and then enjoy my time playing with friends.  It seemed like an exciting adventure.

Today when I woke up, I realize I did not want to get up, because I have no personal desire or ‘reason’ to live.  Sure there are some mildly enjoyable moments, like eating, or writing, or watching a movie. I suppose sex and intimacy could be included, but that I have found to be brief, self-comforting medication only to pacify the greater issue.  All of the love in this world is used as a justification to remain in ignorance and not take responsibility.  The only thing there is to ‘gain’ in this world is selfish experiences… and that is not gain, it is denial and diminishment.  

When we realize how we have created ourselves in this world of the lifeless and selfish… all for profit, competition, and money -excitement, adventure, hopes, and fantasies we had of living, all fade, and are exposed for the false ideals that they were.

We are slaves to our own creation, as selfish desires and therefore we are completely subject to the horrible consequences of such.  Working and fighting merely to survive in hell.  No wonder I have to push myself to get out of bed.  My whole life I thought there was actually something to gain, which created excitement in me as energy, which I lived on as the fuel for the experience of myself.  Realizing the fallacy in this, what joy is there in living, as long as the rest of the world suffers and is enslaved?  Minimal at best.

I see why many people do not wish to face the truth of themselves, because if they did, then they would have to give up their energetic reason for living – as it is always self interest – and that does not serve the best interest of All to stop the abuse of life. 

Equal Money will change everything.