177 - Commitments

I am Here

I commit myself to stand Equal to the physical in this Life

I commit myself to realize that speaking words resonates within my physical body and changes me

I commit myself to re-program myself through writing, speaking words as me, and standing Equal to my words


I commit myself to speak words that support Equality of Life

I commit myself to speak myself to Life - OUT LOUD

I commit myself to speak myself to Life even when I don't feel like it


I commit myself to learn to take responsibility for myself, my world, and my words

I commit myself to challenge my self-imposed limitations of mind

I commit myself to transcending the desire for comfort and self-interest

I commit myself to create myself as the directive principle of myself

I commit myself to enjoy my opportunity to become Life

I commit myself to redefine fear as the sign that points the way and shows me what I need to face and direct

I commit myself to enjoy pushing my resistances when I am challenged by the mind/ego

I commit myself to Educate myself to understand the process of becoming Life

I commit myself to constantly work at being here in and as the physical through breathing

I commit myself to enjoy my work

I commit myself to redefine work - to creating myself as Life

I commit myself to sharing my process and realizations with others

I commit myself to re-peat these words that support Life until all points are transcended

I commit myself to continue to support myself through purifying my words until I stand absolute as Life here

I commit myself to realize that making videos is very supportive of myself and others

I commit myself to move myself for no other reason but to support what is Best for All

I commit myself to - when a personality system arise - stop myself within breath to see the starting point of what triggered the personality/pattern so I can forgive myself and speak or write words to change myself.

Day 64 - Relaxing, Moments, Boredom and Excitement

Relaxing
Fear of slowing down/desire to go fast. Desire to live in self interest, as doing what I want for myself.  Defining responsibility as 'work'/slavery/drudgery within my mind and not being free to relax.  While relaxation exists within current consequence, as our physical bodies eventually require rest at some point in the day, relaxation can be an acceptance of neglect and ignorance. Through perceiving my life experience as 'long and arduous', relaxation can be a stimulus of the mind through the energetic charge in the positive polarity, where work is the negative.  Working has become slavery, rather than the act of giving myself, through and as self-responsibility and supporting all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feed off the positive energy charge within and as the word 'relaxation' as seeing and defining relaxation as a stimulus point where I think of relaxation as a means of acquiring energy of the mind, as an escape from taking responsibility for myself as all in directing every breath.

I no longer accept and allow myself to participate in the energetic charge of the word relaxation, as seeing it as a positive stimulus to charge the energy systems of the mind, but rather change myself to see that relaxation - when rest is not actually necessary for the physical body - is an acceptance of ignorance in the desire to live in self interest, as passing off my responsibility to the mind to direct me, instead of me directing myself here in each breath, moment by moment.

Moments
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I have created moments as separations in time, where I/we have created mo-ments - as the desire for 'more mental energy', I perceive that each moment appears to be a monumental task - the created monument in the mind - the graven image of myself in separation.  Perceiving life as a long arduous struggle, everything is fucked up, dangerous, fearful, abusive and a big lie - based on the perspective of me, seeing myself through the eyes of my mind/ego.

Yet the actuality of life as source is so incredibly simple - being here in taking responsibility for directing myself within breath - I can enjoy myself in slowing myself down - within the realization that in taking responsibility for myself as breath, I am taking responsibility for ALL LIFE as me - thus removing the guilt and blame associated through relationship, as each is now self-responsible.

Through that realization and application - each moment is equal and one, and the moment is no longer monotonous or monumental, as 'mon-u-mental' being the mental projection of me, as I have moaned about not getting my selfish desires, and so created hierarchy/inequality/slavery. Monotony, or mono-tone, a sound without variety or variation - boring and dull.

Boredom
We are bored-dumb.  The fear of being 'bored' creates the experience of boredom within the mind.  Life is not boring, because life is not defined by boredom - if I am bored, it is because I have created the idea of boredom and subject myself to the con-fines of that belief, thus having to serve the sentence and the fine, where I have 'sent' myself into broken moments of 'tense', clinging to the past 'tense' and creating a future 'tense' based on the past 'tense', where I am always 'tense' in fear of facing the inevitable consequence for what I have accepted and allowed as me.

Boredom is false perception as desiring to be 'someone else' or be with 'someone more exciting' - seeing oneself as boring - to bore, or drill a hole through - thus the definition is given a negative energy charge - seeing boredom as 'monotonous', 'painful' and 'slow'.  Yet boredom is created  through participation in the idea of limitation, due to false perception and irresponsibility, not seeing or realizing the opportunities and potential to share myself.  In fear of the idea of boredom, we often find 'work' to preoccupy ourselves to make ourselves busy with work.  Trying to fake ourselves out, pretend responsibility we have created more and more work to do, rather than simply living and expressing ourselves as life.   Thus wurk has become urk, as we urk ourselves through enforced movement from the starting point of servitude, as one is forced into serving the hierarchy of the mind, as the self-created system.

The phrase "I am boring" is opposed to a real expression of life - as giving myself unconditionally through my expression as an Equal. To enjoy the act of giving rather than desiring to feed on the energy of others - which is seeking for self in others, thus attempting to blame life because I did not have the courage to take responsibility to express and share myself, and therefore created the consequence of me existing within and as jealousy.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am boring, or my life is boring, or that someone else is boring within definition as self-judgement.  I realize that I have not ever really considered what was the starting point of boredom which is actually do to the desire to escape responsibility, and the desire for an energy high that would stimulate my senses to make me feel alive, yet I am not alive because all of existence is enslaved to consciousness.



I commit myself to, when and as I see myself participating within the mind as 'feeling bored', to move myself in the physical to do something practical that would assist myself and others.  There are an infinite number of things that I can do in each moment to push my resistances and support life.

Excitement
The opposite polarity charge 'exciting' - as the stimulating and positive energy experience we constantly seek to escape the negative.  Constantly seeking to have an experience of ourselves.  Ex-sight-ment is the externalization of sight - as opposed to having In-sight, where we look into ourselves in self-honesty.  Ex-sight-ment is the false perception as the mental creation in denial of the negative association, thus the fuel of consciousness which produces the system as cycles in continuous polarity and enslavement.

Sex-citing.  Sex is often the most sought after experience.  Not to take away from the physical experience of sex, but when sex is used within the fantasies of the mind, it creates abuse through fueling and energizing the polarity mind systems where one is seeking power and control over another so that one can achieve personal satisfaction and good feelings for oneself in separation.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel the need for an energy high as excitement.  I realize that excitement is driven through desire to have a special experience of myself within my reality, however this desire for personal excitement carries with it the polar opposite as boredom.  Also, excitement as searching for myself outside of myself within an experience is separation.  I am not saying that I cannot do things that are 'fun', only that the addiction to excitement as energy addiction in wanting to escape responsibility to myself and all is abuse.

I commit myself to direct myself to enjoy myself in all moments equally, to stop searching for excitement outside of myself, but to work with what is here as myself so I can become life and assist all as I would like to be assisted. 

Day 33 - I am my Words

The more I hold myself accountable to all as myself and my world, the more I am aware of my responsibility to - through my living example - assist others to see and understand the root problem of our reality.  Each and every one is responsible, and all excuses and justifications stem from fearful and selfish, ego-based desires in attempt to escape responsibility change and align ourselves to the principle of what is best for all.

So how can I direct myself most effectively so that others can garner the necessary knowledge and information required to unlock their individual fears and false perceptions of reality in order so that they may realize themselves as Equal?

I have to apply myself in every moment of breath as becoming equal and one with my words so that my inner reality is reflected in my outer reality.  To stand as my words as every word spoken as me.  In that I take care that when I speak, I am specific and considerate of all potential outflows of how my words are received. From the simplest of conversations to the most in depth, it is to be ever aware of myself here and my responsibility to my agreement with myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect my words as insignificant and meaningless, when my words have potential to assist myself and others in self-realization at any given time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to diminish myself through my words where I have created a system that dictates what words I should speak and when/what words are morally 'correct' and what is morally 'incorrect' - as a system that has replaced responsibility to life with valuation of deceitfulness where I get a receipt for my co-operation and compliance rather than sharing earths resources equally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to diminish myself through my words where my words are not the expression of me, but my words are dictated and programmed through an education system which does not support life - but slavery as creating 'good slaves' and 'bad slaves' to a cruel system of self-destructive nature.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise my world, my reality and my existence through abusing words to justify 'correctness' in the belief that some are 'better than' others in fear of survival.  I realize that living from the starting point of fear-of-survival and competition does not support life, but manifests the inevitable plundering of all of the earths resources through and insatiable lust of consumerism which can only result in suffering and death.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise myself through my words in my own self-deception because I felt I could not live without playing the game of competition, always seeking and desiring more and more and more and more and more in a never ending cycle of self-abuse.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use words to fill gaps of space where I feel uncomfortable if I do not say something.  In that, I take the opportunity to consider the possibilities where I can take self-responsibility to express myself in a way that my words have impact and change my world and reality to that which honors all life Equally.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit my ability to use words because I fear saying things in front of certain people or I fear the people themselves and thus fear the reactions I may/may not get. 

I commit myself to use my words as effectively and specifically as possible within slowing myself down and breathing so that I am speaking words as myself in creating only that which supports all life Equally as what is best for all

I commit myself to speak my words effectively as possible so that they may have an impact and manifestation of change as me and within my world and reality.

I commit myself to work diligently with discipline in using my words with care and consideration for all life.

I commit myself to retrace my words that I speak so that I may purify my words and clarify as I purify and clarify myself into a living example of what is best for all, as what is best for all is best for me.