Day 217

Looking at an example of a point I am walking through.  I had struggled for a number of years with this point, not consecutively however.  There were times when I tried to stop the point, and did for a number of weeks only to have it return.  I did not consider the point as a priority point, so I deliberately allowed it as a means of coping with stresses in my life, as well as an emotional outlet rather than dealing with the emotions through breathing, self-forgiveness, and change.

So when recently I decided to make the point a priority, I spoke out loud, specific self-forgiveness statements on all aspects of the point I was able to see within myself.  I did this, despite the many previous failed attempts at stopping this particular point, and within the realization that it will require considerable inner fortitude to push through the resistance to change myself in this particular pattern.  So I decided I would continue with the self-forgiveness no matter what, and did so a number of times.  Seeing that I still was unable to fully push through the point - a consequence soon arose as a nausea within my physical body, which caused me some concern, thus leading to my ultimate and final decision to stop the point altogether.

My physical body had at other times shown me how this point was not supportive for me, yet I did not stop immediately. This time, there is no question, all desires are dismissed immediately because of my level of certainty and confidence within my commitment to myself.... I see no other way out. It is as if after I said the Self Forgiveness out loud, my body heard and understood exactly how to deal with the situation and decided to create a consequence to assist me to stopping myself and seeing what is going on and how. Maybe the point is not related at all to what my body is showing me, I am not fully aware either way, however I do know and realize a great sense of relief now that I have dealt with the point(s) and standing here.

Day 64 - Relaxing, Moments, Boredom and Excitement

Relaxing
Fear of slowing down/desire to go fast. Desire to live in self interest, as doing what I want for myself.  Defining responsibility as 'work'/slavery/drudgery within my mind and not being free to relax.  While relaxation exists within current consequence, as our physical bodies eventually require rest at some point in the day, relaxation can be an acceptance of neglect and ignorance. Through perceiving my life experience as 'long and arduous', relaxation can be a stimulus of the mind through the energetic charge in the positive polarity, where work is the negative.  Working has become slavery, rather than the act of giving myself, through and as self-responsibility and supporting all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feed off the positive energy charge within and as the word 'relaxation' as seeing and defining relaxation as a stimulus point where I think of relaxation as a means of acquiring energy of the mind, as an escape from taking responsibility for myself as all in directing every breath.

I no longer accept and allow myself to participate in the energetic charge of the word relaxation, as seeing it as a positive stimulus to charge the energy systems of the mind, but rather change myself to see that relaxation - when rest is not actually necessary for the physical body - is an acceptance of ignorance in the desire to live in self interest, as passing off my responsibility to the mind to direct me, instead of me directing myself here in each breath, moment by moment.

Moments
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I have created moments as separations in time, where I/we have created mo-ments - as the desire for 'more mental energy', I perceive that each moment appears to be a monumental task - the created monument in the mind - the graven image of myself in separation.  Perceiving life as a long arduous struggle, everything is fucked up, dangerous, fearful, abusive and a big lie - based on the perspective of me, seeing myself through the eyes of my mind/ego.

Yet the actuality of life as source is so incredibly simple - being here in taking responsibility for directing myself within breath - I can enjoy myself in slowing myself down - within the realization that in taking responsibility for myself as breath, I am taking responsibility for ALL LIFE as me - thus removing the guilt and blame associated through relationship, as each is now self-responsible.

Through that realization and application - each moment is equal and one, and the moment is no longer monotonous or monumental, as 'mon-u-mental' being the mental projection of me, as I have moaned about not getting my selfish desires, and so created hierarchy/inequality/slavery. Monotony, or mono-tone, a sound without variety or variation - boring and dull.

Boredom
We are bored-dumb.  The fear of being 'bored' creates the experience of boredom within the mind.  Life is not boring, because life is not defined by boredom - if I am bored, it is because I have created the idea of boredom and subject myself to the con-fines of that belief, thus having to serve the sentence and the fine, where I have 'sent' myself into broken moments of 'tense', clinging to the past 'tense' and creating a future 'tense' based on the past 'tense', where I am always 'tense' in fear of facing the inevitable consequence for what I have accepted and allowed as me.

Boredom is false perception as desiring to be 'someone else' or be with 'someone more exciting' - seeing oneself as boring - to bore, or drill a hole through - thus the definition is given a negative energy charge - seeing boredom as 'monotonous', 'painful' and 'slow'.  Yet boredom is created  through participation in the idea of limitation, due to false perception and irresponsibility, not seeing or realizing the opportunities and potential to share myself.  In fear of the idea of boredom, we often find 'work' to preoccupy ourselves to make ourselves busy with work.  Trying to fake ourselves out, pretend responsibility we have created more and more work to do, rather than simply living and expressing ourselves as life.   Thus wurk has become urk, as we urk ourselves through enforced movement from the starting point of servitude, as one is forced into serving the hierarchy of the mind, as the self-created system.

The phrase "I am boring" is opposed to a real expression of life - as giving myself unconditionally through my expression as an Equal. To enjoy the act of giving rather than desiring to feed on the energy of others - which is seeking for self in others, thus attempting to blame life because I did not have the courage to take responsibility to express and share myself, and therefore created the consequence of me existing within and as jealousy.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am boring, or my life is boring, or that someone else is boring within definition as self-judgement.  I realize that I have not ever really considered what was the starting point of boredom which is actually do to the desire to escape responsibility, and the desire for an energy high that would stimulate my senses to make me feel alive, yet I am not alive because all of existence is enslaved to consciousness.



I commit myself to, when and as I see myself participating within the mind as 'feeling bored', to move myself in the physical to do something practical that would assist myself and others.  There are an infinite number of things that I can do in each moment to push my resistances and support life.

Excitement
The opposite polarity charge 'exciting' - as the stimulating and positive energy experience we constantly seek to escape the negative.  Constantly seeking to have an experience of ourselves.  Ex-sight-ment is the externalization of sight - as opposed to having In-sight, where we look into ourselves in self-honesty.  Ex-sight-ment is the false perception as the mental creation in denial of the negative association, thus the fuel of consciousness which produces the system as cycles in continuous polarity and enslavement.

Sex-citing.  Sex is often the most sought after experience.  Not to take away from the physical experience of sex, but when sex is used within the fantasies of the mind, it creates abuse through fueling and energizing the polarity mind systems where one is seeking power and control over another so that one can achieve personal satisfaction and good feelings for oneself in separation.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel the need for an energy high as excitement.  I realize that excitement is driven through desire to have a special experience of myself within my reality, however this desire for personal excitement carries with it the polar opposite as boredom.  Also, excitement as searching for myself outside of myself within an experience is separation.  I am not saying that I cannot do things that are 'fun', only that the addiction to excitement as energy addiction in wanting to escape responsibility to myself and all is abuse.

I commit myself to direct myself to enjoy myself in all moments equally, to stop searching for excitement outside of myself, but to work with what is here as myself so I can become life and assist all as I would like to be assisted. 

No More Anxiety Attacks in an Equal Money System

Anxiety is the number 1 illness in Canada and the U.S. The amount of people suffering from some form of anxiety disorder in Canada is estimated at an astonishing 12-13%. The actual number is likely much higher than that.

It is I have personally suffered from acute anxiety attacks at various stages in my life. I was very stressed by a host of problems in my life from money, to relationships, to school etc. I began noticing strange feelings of tightness, light pain and 'electrical charges' within my body at times, often after or during experiences of getting high. Its interesting that looking back now, I can see that I did not understand my body and how it worked whatsoever.

This makes me question our education system, social system and parental upbringing. Why was I not educated about the most basic, and most important factor in my life - my body? Really... all those years of education and I had no real idea how my body functions? Extreme oversight... or negligence?

I cannot place blame, as I did not even take it upon myself to understand my body either. This will be a central theme of education in an Equal Money System from a very early age. We should be supporting children in how the body works and how to pay attention to signs our bodies give us.

As anxiety progressed in me, I became so anxious I could not sleep for hours. I had shortness of breath, pain in my limbs and feelings of terror that I cannot describe. I thought I was having a heart attack, as that is what it felt like, but I really didn't know. It was utterly horrible, like a feeling that you are being crushed on the inside. My heart would begin palpitating and I would become very frightened, leading to panic attacks.

I visited a number of doctors who offered virtually no help whatsoever. At one point my heart was racing in my chest in the middle of the night (after too much caffeine) and I was very scared and taken to hospital. An hour drive at the time.. sigh. The doctor told me I was fine and sent me back to work the next day!? Then the very same thing happened the next day. Quite a startling realization that most doctors have very little consideration or understanding of how the body works as well.

This continued for roughly two years until I was prescribed some medication to assist me and the attacks eventually subsided. The doctor informed me not to take the medication for too long or it would harm me in the long run.

With so much high anxiety in our society its no wonder large pharmaceutical companies are making billions of dollars every year off of anxiety. These drugs only cover up the problem as opposed to getting to the root of the issue and resolving it. The issue is stress, and what is single biggest cause of stress in our society? Money.

If we simply implement an Equal Money System, it would reduce 90% of the stress in our lives and eliminate anxiety disorder completely! It is the complete cure! Big pharmaceutical companies don't want to hear that though, they are making huge profit from anxiety, so having it built into the system is good news for them.

Do we not want to live free from anxiety? Wouldn't that be fantastic to solve the number 1 illness in Canada and the U.S. and then watch all the pharmaceutical corporations disappear?

The Equal Money System is the ultimate solution to end all greed, corruption, war, abuse manipulation, slavery, and utter nonsense we are living as. Only an elitist, or a complete fool would disagree. Support Equal Money for All for a dignified life.

Shocking anxiety disorder statistics;

- 40 million people in the U.S. will experience an impairment because of an anxiety condition this year.

- Those who experience anxiety and stress have a very high propensity for drug abuse and addictions.

- There were over 3.3 Billion prescriptions filled in America in 2002 (12 times the U.S’s population - that’s 12 prescriptions for every man, woman, and child in the U.S. that year).

http://www.anxietycentre.com/anxiety-statistics-information.shtml

Descriptions of different types of anxiety as well as symptoms

http://www.phac-aspc.gc.ca/publicat/miic-mmac/chap_4-eng.php