Chained - Day 85

  I remember hearing this story when I was a child.  A long time ago, there was a man who lived with his family in a cabin.  One afternoon, the man was in the woods working and was bitten by a wild animal.  So he went to see a doctor to treat the wound and prevent infection.  The doctor informed him that he had contracted rabies.  The man and his family were all very sad about the news, as there was no known cure for rabies.  They understood that the virus would make him go mad - to the extent that he would go into a rage, and not be able to control himself and so possibly injure and even kill his family.  

     Then one day, the family was waiting for the man to come home from work, but he did not show up.  They all became worried, and went out to search for him, but they did not find him.  They asked all around, but no-one had seen him or knew where the man was. 

     A week later, the man’s daughter was walking in the woods and found her father chained to a tree… dead.  The man cared about his family, and the last thing he wanted was to see them get infected, or hurt by his inevitable madness.  So he made a decision.  He went out into the woods, chained himself to a tree, and threw away the key into the woods as far as he could so that it would not be found, and he would not be able to free himself. 

This story resembles very closely what we have all done to ourselves.  We have all done things in the past that we feel guilty about.  Yet through our continued self-judgement, we have diagnosed ourselves as having an in-curable disease.  And so we have ran into the ‘woods of our minds’, chained, hidden, and condemned ourselves, throwing away the key in the belief that there is no cure, or solution in fear of what we will become. There may not have been a known cure for rabies at the time, however this does not automatically imply that the man’s body could not have fought off and overcome the virus.  Also the idea that he would attack and kill his family is a fear of losing self-control, and so a justification and excuse to not face consequence.

Was what this man did honourable? 

The man trusted the doctors diagnosis, and so assumed that he would go mad, rather than trusting himself and dealing with the situation if, when, and how it actually manifested.  So his life was lost, and his family was left without him. 

This is what we often tend to do in our experience.  We trust the judgement of others rather than trust ourselves, we run from ourselves in fear of what we ‘assume or believe will happen.


Fortunately, there is a cure for what we have all allowed ourselves to become – as rabid, warring, judgemental, consumers chained to the tree of our mind in ego and self-interest.  The cure is Equality, and the medicine is self-honesty and self-forgiveness.  This medicine sets us free from the delusion that hiding and suppressing ourselves to death is the answer.   All we need to do is take the medicine and learn to trust ourselves to walk the solution. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there is no cure for what I have allowed myself and my world to become, when the cure is right here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge and diagnose myself as evil in self-condemnation, justifying why I must run away from myself into my mind as the alternate reality where I think I can hide from myself and my responsibility to Life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up on myself because ‘a doctor’ told me what would happen to me in the future.   Not to say ‘don’t trust doctors’, but rather self-honestly look at my situation and learn to communicate with my body and support my body through what my body is telling me.  I realize that getting multiple perspectives is also helpful in understanding what is best for my body and best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the future rather than face the consequences of what I have accepted and allowed so that I realize that I must change myself to no longer accept and allow dishonesty within myself and my world.

I commit myself to embrace my situation as whatever presents itself in the moment, so that I can walk the correction of what I have created to realize what I am doing to myself

I commit myself to realize that beliefs are not cures, but rather deceptive pacifiers which allow projections into the future which only serve to complicate and confuse matters.  To be here requires no beliefs.

I commit myself to trust myself so that I can support myself in what my body requires

I commit myself to my agreement with my body to live without hiding in my mind as ego/personalities/characters/opinions/beliefs/thoughts/feelings and emotions, so that I can become Equal to all as a physical being in my reality that does not form judgements about myself or others.

I commit myself to realize that the only honourable way to live is to live as Equal to all, as the physical, and so bring about change in myself and my world to create a world based on the principle of what is best for all Life, rather than existing within a system of self-judgement and self-denial.

Day 37 - Childhood Forgiveness

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to follow in the footsteps, actions, manners and behaviors of my father, in thinking that my father was god and could do no wrong. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to follow my father around seeking his attention, validation and protection in fear of my survival, thinking that my father actually loved and cared for me, when in fact his caring for me and my caring for him were both in self-interest because neither of us considered caring from the starting point of all as Equal, thus our caring limited to selfish desires based in fear of facing the truth of who we are, therefore all caring was in vain and only made matters worse for ourselves and the rest of the world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to try and please my father in an effort to get recognition and be seen as special and important in the eyes of my father so that I could participate in the belief that I was special or important in some way and so differentiate myself from others as a self-created hero in my mind, in the belief that I was somehow better, and in so create a good feeling within myself.  In seeing this, I realize that I was merely abusing myself in fear of facing who I am as Equal and so passing off my responsibility to express myself unconditionally as Equal.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to always want to smile and be happy around my father trying to hide the fears I had of expressing myself with a sm-LIE.  I realize how much I compromised myself in developing a patter/habit of suppressing my fears and hiding myself from myself so as not to have to deal with the real issue - which was obvious fear and spitefulness of myself and existence as a whole.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to copy the patterns of my father in fear of expressing myself for myself and as myself, in the interest of all rather than self-interest.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that I was separate from my world and my reality, not realizing that I am actually a part of existence and my reality, and therefore responsible to speak, act and support myself as all life as opposed to my own self-interest. In realizing this, I realize that I must face all my fears when I am confronted with them within myself or within others so that I may expose and deconstruct all fears within self-honesty and self-forgiveness in order to change myself, my world and my reality into that which is best for all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my fathers reactions to me expressing myself unconditionally as a child.  In so, I refrained from expressing myself and what was truly going on within myself, allowing fear to dominate me and subdue and suppress me into a personality construct of trying to please others and make other people happy so that I could apparently escape my fears.  I realize there is no escaping myself and I have to undo what I have done as submission to and being dominated by fear of who I really am.


I commit myself to change myself completely no matter what it takes so that I can undo all the fears, spite and suppression that I allowed within my life experience and in so free myself and free others in my world and reality from the domination of fear and spite.

I commit myself to confront my fears immediately when I encounter them so that I do not allow fear to direct and control me in any way.  In so doing, I direct myself in what is best for me, my world and existence as a whole without making any excuses, as there is no excuse for why I can not stand for life in any and all situations.

I commit myself to pushing my limitations and transcending my past programming which is of the mind as that of seeking attention as a diversion from myself here, as who I am as Equal to my world and my reality.

I commit myself to persevere in pushing my resistances which will show me where I am still allowing separation and fear to dominate, control and enslave me and my world and reality.

I commit myself to expose the cruelty and superficiality of what is considered caring in this world through fam-I-LIES.  This family caring and so called 'love' is not caring or love at all, but spiteful, existing within the polarity of love and hate in fear of facing ourselves for real as who we really are.