Day 90 - Parents Suffocating Life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create myself as a Parent, as a Bully of Life - and so allow deception myself as a Parent, believing myself to be 'good', 'loving' and 'caring', when clearly all the apparent goodness, love and caring of myself as a parent is actually suppression and oppression of Life, as a Parent only considers and cares for its own ego and self-interest, and so we inject our fears and beliefs into our children with the audacity to call it Love.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a Parent to bring a child into this world without understanding the very foundation upon which I am creating life, thus allowing life to proliferate in absolute disregard, negligence, self-hate, and spite of myself and All of existence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a Parent to bring a child into this world so I could feel worshiped as a God by the child that I created in absolute self-dishonesty and abuse of Life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a Parent to bring a child into this world knowing full well I was doing it out of fear of being judged by others and my own self-judgement, and so wanting to hide myself behind the systems perception of innocence of being a Parent.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a Parent to bring a child into this world so that I could get money as a handout from the government.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a Parent to bring a child into this world so that I could fulfill my own selfish desire to be a Parent - In spite of living and doing what is best for All.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a Parent to believe that I am somehow better than others who are not Parents because I am able to raise a child in a corrupt and abusive money system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a Parent to enjoy the energetic thrill of suppressing Life by programming 'MY?' children through a system of punishment and reward  through MY personal belief systems as MY apparent pattern of parental wisdom, which is only MY perception of wisdom in MY own selfish and fearful opinion of MYself.  My, my, my, my, mynd. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a Parent to abuse Life within the excuse that I am just doing what is natural, when I know full well there is no excuse for abusing Life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a Parent to believe I can hoard Life in the justification that I am the protector of my children, and if MY children interact with others whom I do not like, I become exceedingly fearful and protective of my children so that they too learn to become fearful of interacting with others and want to hide themselves in fear.

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a Parent to extensively judge people in that I have allowed myself to be controlled by the fear that everyone is a kidnapper just waiting to steal my child from me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a Parent to be so spiteful in my egotistical view of myself that I would flaunt my parenthood right in people's faces so that they can see that 'I am special' and 'God has blessed me with children'.

I commit myself to realize that parents are responsible for sustaining a system of Lies and Fear.

I commit myself to realize that Parents who deliberately do not take responsibility to change and stand for what is best for all Life - are perpetuating abuse and choosing to support their programmed fears 'over' Life.

I commit myself to understand that Parents are the God Imposters, the Bullying Bouncers and the Wolves in Sheep's clothing who hoard and consume Life through using children as an excuse why the current abusive system should not change to support all Life Equally.

I commit myself to see/realize/understand how InEquality begins when a child comes into the world and is programmed to be a total slave by and to parents.

I commit myself to show that life has become the product of fearful, lustful, deceitful, abusive consumers - parents.  

I commit myself to show that parents must be held accountable to Life, so Life can be born in the physical without the restrictions of Parents.

Day 37 - Childhood Forgiveness

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to follow in the footsteps, actions, manners and behaviors of my father, in thinking that my father was god and could do no wrong. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to follow my father around seeking his attention, validation and protection in fear of my survival, thinking that my father actually loved and cared for me, when in fact his caring for me and my caring for him were both in self-interest because neither of us considered caring from the starting point of all as Equal, thus our caring limited to selfish desires based in fear of facing the truth of who we are, therefore all caring was in vain and only made matters worse for ourselves and the rest of the world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to try and please my father in an effort to get recognition and be seen as special and important in the eyes of my father so that I could participate in the belief that I was special or important in some way and so differentiate myself from others as a self-created hero in my mind, in the belief that I was somehow better, and in so create a good feeling within myself.  In seeing this, I realize that I was merely abusing myself in fear of facing who I am as Equal and so passing off my responsibility to express myself unconditionally as Equal.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to always want to smile and be happy around my father trying to hide the fears I had of expressing myself with a sm-LIE.  I realize how much I compromised myself in developing a patter/habit of suppressing my fears and hiding myself from myself so as not to have to deal with the real issue - which was obvious fear and spitefulness of myself and existence as a whole.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to copy the patterns of my father in fear of expressing myself for myself and as myself, in the interest of all rather than self-interest.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that I was separate from my world and my reality, not realizing that I am actually a part of existence and my reality, and therefore responsible to speak, act and support myself as all life as opposed to my own self-interest. In realizing this, I realize that I must face all my fears when I am confronted with them within myself or within others so that I may expose and deconstruct all fears within self-honesty and self-forgiveness in order to change myself, my world and my reality into that which is best for all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my fathers reactions to me expressing myself unconditionally as a child.  In so, I refrained from expressing myself and what was truly going on within myself, allowing fear to dominate me and subdue and suppress me into a personality construct of trying to please others and make other people happy so that I could apparently escape my fears.  I realize there is no escaping myself and I have to undo what I have done as submission to and being dominated by fear of who I really am.


I commit myself to change myself completely no matter what it takes so that I can undo all the fears, spite and suppression that I allowed within my life experience and in so free myself and free others in my world and reality from the domination of fear and spite.

I commit myself to confront my fears immediately when I encounter them so that I do not allow fear to direct and control me in any way.  In so doing, I direct myself in what is best for me, my world and existence as a whole without making any excuses, as there is no excuse for why I can not stand for life in any and all situations.

I commit myself to pushing my limitations and transcending my past programming which is of the mind as that of seeking attention as a diversion from myself here, as who I am as Equal to my world and my reality.

I commit myself to persevere in pushing my resistances which will show me where I am still allowing separation and fear to dominate, control and enslave me and my world and reality.

I commit myself to expose the cruelty and superficiality of what is considered caring in this world through fam-I-LIES.  This family caring and so called 'love' is not caring or love at all, but spiteful, existing within the polarity of love and hate in fear of facing ourselves for real as who we really are.