Day 84 - Illusion

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that excuses in and as self-denial create Hell on Earth so that the Earth has become the executed-use of Life, relegated to a memory to be forgotten and drained of all ability to give Life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that there will be enough time - later.  I realize and I am fully aware that time was created through separation and self-deception, therefore relying on time in the hope that I will have 'more time' only creates more deception of time as spiraling and diminishing cycles of enslavement.  I realize that my stubborn belief that I was born a long time ago as 'just a stub', separate from the whole Tree of Life is a justification as to why I can persist in the desire to be enslaved to time, as opposed to taking responsibility for myself as all in each moment of time I created, and so untie myself from Tie-me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to jump to conclusions, as believing a conclusion to be something, somewhere safe to land, where I can relax... pat myself of the back and feel better about myself, because I, as my ego/mind, have formed the Great Religion of Knowledge of Who I Am, in my spitefully concocted-illusion as consciousness, rather than physically working to create myself as Breath, as Life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear self-forgiveness, as if it is some kind of imaginary monster that is going to conjure up fear and judgement against me.  I realize that in fearing myself, I am the Conjurer that cons myself, and the Jury that judges myself, condemning myself in the Preference to make myself magically appear how I Like to be as the illusion - conjuring images and thoughts in my mind in the desperate attempt to escape responsibility for who I am as a physical being with an opportunity to become Life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear pain and death, not realizing that I created pain and death for myself, as my gift to me, the mirror reflection of what I have allowed myself to become, as consciousness - a cruel and thieving bully who's only goal is to steal life, as I have siphoned energy off the physical in fear of my creation - Pain and Death - In so I have preferred to be content with contention, and to remain silent and phony when faced with my own self-dishonesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can hide from myself in the secret paradise of my mind, where I roll a random pair-of-dice to run from my self-domination and enslavement to choose a role for myself, as a character who will play out my secret fantasies in Spite of all that is here as me as the physical.  I realize that all secrets are inevitably secreted, and that my mind is merely the magic projector in the back of my head, playing a movie of pretty lights and colors, distracting me and stimulating my selfish addiction to energy, in the foolish hope that one day, the reel would become real.


I commit myself to realize that there is nowhere in the entire universe where I can hide from myself.

I commit myself to understand that understanding is the way to gain perspective of how knowledge is the impostor of Life, and through understanding I can learn how to forgive my abuse of knowledge and move myself from a place of standing under to standing Equal to Life.

I commit myself to share who I am and to give myself as who I am so that I can for-give myself as who I have allowed myself to become - as a database of knowledge - and change myself to support all Life as what is best for all.

I commit myself to expose myself as who I have accepted and allowed myself to become so that all secrets can be forgiven and so we can learn that secrets are harmful abuse of life.

I commit myself to realize that to be life is to be here as breath in taking responsibility for all that we create individually and collectively so that no more harm, enslavement, or abuse of Life is ever again allowed to exist.

I commit myself to supporting systems that will support Life, as what is best for all, such as the Equal Money System.

I commit myself to agreements that support Life, so that Life can be born from the physical as Equal.    

Day 37 - Childhood Forgiveness

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to follow in the footsteps, actions, manners and behaviors of my father, in thinking that my father was god and could do no wrong. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to follow my father around seeking his attention, validation and protection in fear of my survival, thinking that my father actually loved and cared for me, when in fact his caring for me and my caring for him were both in self-interest because neither of us considered caring from the starting point of all as Equal, thus our caring limited to selfish desires based in fear of facing the truth of who we are, therefore all caring was in vain and only made matters worse for ourselves and the rest of the world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to try and please my father in an effort to get recognition and be seen as special and important in the eyes of my father so that I could participate in the belief that I was special or important in some way and so differentiate myself from others as a self-created hero in my mind, in the belief that I was somehow better, and in so create a good feeling within myself.  In seeing this, I realize that I was merely abusing myself in fear of facing who I am as Equal and so passing off my responsibility to express myself unconditionally as Equal.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to always want to smile and be happy around my father trying to hide the fears I had of expressing myself with a sm-LIE.  I realize how much I compromised myself in developing a patter/habit of suppressing my fears and hiding myself from myself so as not to have to deal with the real issue - which was obvious fear and spitefulness of myself and existence as a whole.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to copy the patterns of my father in fear of expressing myself for myself and as myself, in the interest of all rather than self-interest.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that I was separate from my world and my reality, not realizing that I am actually a part of existence and my reality, and therefore responsible to speak, act and support myself as all life as opposed to my own self-interest. In realizing this, I realize that I must face all my fears when I am confronted with them within myself or within others so that I may expose and deconstruct all fears within self-honesty and self-forgiveness in order to change myself, my world and my reality into that which is best for all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my fathers reactions to me expressing myself unconditionally as a child.  In so, I refrained from expressing myself and what was truly going on within myself, allowing fear to dominate me and subdue and suppress me into a personality construct of trying to please others and make other people happy so that I could apparently escape my fears.  I realize there is no escaping myself and I have to undo what I have done as submission to and being dominated by fear of who I really am.


I commit myself to change myself completely no matter what it takes so that I can undo all the fears, spite and suppression that I allowed within my life experience and in so free myself and free others in my world and reality from the domination of fear and spite.

I commit myself to confront my fears immediately when I encounter them so that I do not allow fear to direct and control me in any way.  In so doing, I direct myself in what is best for me, my world and existence as a whole without making any excuses, as there is no excuse for why I can not stand for life in any and all situations.

I commit myself to pushing my limitations and transcending my past programming which is of the mind as that of seeking attention as a diversion from myself here, as who I am as Equal to my world and my reality.

I commit myself to persevere in pushing my resistances which will show me where I am still allowing separation and fear to dominate, control and enslave me and my world and reality.

I commit myself to expose the cruelty and superficiality of what is considered caring in this world through fam-I-LIES.  This family caring and so called 'love' is not caring or love at all, but spiteful, existing within the polarity of love and hate in fear of facing ourselves for real as who we really are.