Day 226 - Double-Mindedness a.k.a. Bi-Polar Disorder

From Wikipedia
Bipolar disorder or bipolar affective disorder (historically known as manic–depressive disorder or manic depression) is a psychiatric diagnosis for a mood disorder. Individuals with bipolar disorder experience episodes of a frenzied state known as mania (or hypomania), typically alternating with episodes of depression.

At the lower levels of mania, such as hypomania, individuals appear energetic and excitable and may in fact be highly productive. At a higher level, individuals begin to behave erratically and impulsively, often making poor decisions due to unrealistic ideas about the future, and may have great difficulty with sleep. At the highest level, individuals can experience very distorted beliefs about the world known aspsychosis. Individuals who experience manic episodes also commonly experience depressive episodes; some experience a mixed state in which features of both mania and depression are present at the same time. Manic and depressive episodes typically last from a few days to several months and can be interspersed by periods of "normal" mood.





What is double-minded/Bi Polar disorder?  This problem is quite simply a symptom and result of not facing who we really are, not being honest with ourselves and thus not knowing ourselves for real.  We can ask ourselves a series of questions to determine if we are in fact double-minded/Bi Polar... Here are some examples...


Do I desire something (ex. happiness), and then at times desire something that would compromise what would be required for myself to live and express that certain happiness?

Do I sometimes say one thing, and then when I am around another person, say something different or even the exact opposite?

Do I exist within 2 or more characters in my mind, where one character is the 'bad' character and the other is the 'good' character whom I use to appease my conscience and justify the actions of the bad character?

Do I ever fantasize about myself in particular situations in my mind, where I make myself out to be the hero of the situation and so I feel better about myself?

Do I ever make decisions based on the fact that I feel happy and so want to do something good for someone to puff up my good character - so that I can eventually feel relieved of enough guilt that I can go back to my bad character?

Do I ever emulate characters through my personality to get things that I want from other people?

Do I constantly struggle with myself, going from high to low to high to low... back and forth in a never ending  cycle - apparently beyond the control of our will power to direct?

Do I really know myself, or do I exist in fear of being honest with myself about who I really am?

Do I fear losing either the good or the bad characters or both?

Do I second-guess myself all the time, being unable to stick with decisions?

Do I really believe that I can exists as a split personality, in two different worlds and not ever have to face myself?

Am I upset with myself because I know I am not being honest with myself?

Am I tired of playing the game and running away from myself?

Most will only get this (as I did) after a somewhat life threatening, shocking, or traumatic physical experience causes us to question who we are in this reality.

Join Desteni and Take the Desteni I Process to stop Double-Mindedness and Get Real with yourself.

Chained - Day 85

  I remember hearing this story when I was a child.  A long time ago, there was a man who lived with his family in a cabin.  One afternoon, the man was in the woods working and was bitten by a wild animal.  So he went to see a doctor to treat the wound and prevent infection.  The doctor informed him that he had contracted rabies.  The man and his family were all very sad about the news, as there was no known cure for rabies.  They understood that the virus would make him go mad - to the extent that he would go into a rage, and not be able to control himself and so possibly injure and even kill his family.  

     Then one day, the family was waiting for the man to come home from work, but he did not show up.  They all became worried, and went out to search for him, but they did not find him.  They asked all around, but no-one had seen him or knew where the man was. 

     A week later, the man’s daughter was walking in the woods and found her father chained to a tree… dead.  The man cared about his family, and the last thing he wanted was to see them get infected, or hurt by his inevitable madness.  So he made a decision.  He went out into the woods, chained himself to a tree, and threw away the key into the woods as far as he could so that it would not be found, and he would not be able to free himself. 

This story resembles very closely what we have all done to ourselves.  We have all done things in the past that we feel guilty about.  Yet through our continued self-judgement, we have diagnosed ourselves as having an in-curable disease.  And so we have ran into the ‘woods of our minds’, chained, hidden, and condemned ourselves, throwing away the key in the belief that there is no cure, or solution in fear of what we will become. There may not have been a known cure for rabies at the time, however this does not automatically imply that the man’s body could not have fought off and overcome the virus.  Also the idea that he would attack and kill his family is a fear of losing self-control, and so a justification and excuse to not face consequence.

Was what this man did honourable? 

The man trusted the doctors diagnosis, and so assumed that he would go mad, rather than trusting himself and dealing with the situation if, when, and how it actually manifested.  So his life was lost, and his family was left without him. 

This is what we often tend to do in our experience.  We trust the judgement of others rather than trust ourselves, we run from ourselves in fear of what we ‘assume or believe will happen.


Fortunately, there is a cure for what we have all allowed ourselves to become – as rabid, warring, judgemental, consumers chained to the tree of our mind in ego and self-interest.  The cure is Equality, and the medicine is self-honesty and self-forgiveness.  This medicine sets us free from the delusion that hiding and suppressing ourselves to death is the answer.   All we need to do is take the medicine and learn to trust ourselves to walk the solution. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there is no cure for what I have allowed myself and my world to become, when the cure is right here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge and diagnose myself as evil in self-condemnation, justifying why I must run away from myself into my mind as the alternate reality where I think I can hide from myself and my responsibility to Life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up on myself because ‘a doctor’ told me what would happen to me in the future.   Not to say ‘don’t trust doctors’, but rather self-honestly look at my situation and learn to communicate with my body and support my body through what my body is telling me.  I realize that getting multiple perspectives is also helpful in understanding what is best for my body and best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the future rather than face the consequences of what I have accepted and allowed so that I realize that I must change myself to no longer accept and allow dishonesty within myself and my world.

I commit myself to embrace my situation as whatever presents itself in the moment, so that I can walk the correction of what I have created to realize what I am doing to myself

I commit myself to realize that beliefs are not cures, but rather deceptive pacifiers which allow projections into the future which only serve to complicate and confuse matters.  To be here requires no beliefs.

I commit myself to trust myself so that I can support myself in what my body requires

I commit myself to my agreement with my body to live without hiding in my mind as ego/personalities/characters/opinions/beliefs/thoughts/feelings and emotions, so that I can become Equal to all as a physical being in my reality that does not form judgements about myself or others.

I commit myself to realize that the only honourable way to live is to live as Equal to all, as the physical, and so bring about change in myself and my world to create a world based on the principle of what is best for all Life, rather than existing within a system of self-judgement and self-denial.