Day 317

Sun Dec 11

I really appreciate everything everyone has done for me to assist me with my struggles within my process. I am at times in awe by how much support I have been given, and it has been very helpful to say the least. Again I apologize for being slow to realize some things that should be easily reconciled.  

I have been over-cautious in reaction/projection to fears of causing problems for myself and others through the possibility of myself not giving enough consideration and/or forethought to points I have been writing about. There were other dimensions of myself which opened up, which I am grateful to have thoroughly re-examined, and I trust that I have corrected. I am becoming more confident in trusting myself to move forward, standing within the principle as an equal. I would like to contribute in a way that is helpful and supportive, and I have been realizing, as most realize that this does not come by waiting, I will have to continue to push myself in an effort to be as effective as possible with the time that I have here. 

 I realize that there is likely more challenges ahead, and I will deal with them as they come, remembering that the solution is to stand equal to whatever point presents itself so that it can be forgiven and corrected.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed and controlled by the feeling of being burdened and being a burden to others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be overly concerned due to problems I am facing in my life and process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed and controlled by the fear of having no money, being broke and destitute and thus creating myself as a burden for others to bear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to escape my problems. I realize that I cannot escape my problems and I must face them in order to resolve that which I am able to resolve, and so alleviate the guilt I have created for having created problems for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worry extensively over getting a vehicle on the road. I realize that I am unable to fix everything and that I at times make poor decisions which I must face the consequences of.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect to think things through thoroughly enough and so not realize the challenges I would face in the future may be more than I can handle.