Day 349

Jan 15

Part 2

Conceptualize dream - Music, Sound, Video, Profile, Share, Grow, Expand, Shaman (costume, necklace, headdress)

I forgive myself now and in my future for any mistakes or abuses I make.

There is always a Gift. Example, the coyote dying, not only did I realize a point within myself but I did not see the opportunity to use the pelt and bones. I could use those things to create a shamanic effects.

We are all Explorers.

We long to connect, not to our past as the world system would have through tradition, but to our source through our physical expression. There is enjoyment in those milestones.

Entitlement

quote

We must risk everything to create our dreams as ourselves.

ENJOY the process of Creating yourself - Tom Bombadil/Shaman/Druid - Meadowbreeze Dandelion.

Silverwood

Cosplay Druid, Shaman, Warrior, Priest Costumes

Elrond to Aragorn - "Put aside the ranger and become who you were born to be"

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be the master within relationships.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be insensitive.

Part 1

Desire for intimacy this am. Angry, frustration. inside. Lust is not the way to achieve what I want in life.. In my past I have allowed myself to believe lust was the solution to solving the inner anguish - which was real - as built up anger and frustration from being angry with myself and unable to communicate and express my frustrations. Resentment began very young in relation to adults and me being frustrated with myself because I saw how pathetic I was being and I was ashamed of myself.

I recall wanting to see my X dead, wishing and hoping for revenge in my head. I hated X, and eventually I despised X. I still despise X when I see what a fucker X was in life, fucking irresponsible, selfish, bigshot, scumbag, piece of shit. I hated X

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project blame as hate onto my parents/ancestors.

I have been channeling all of my inner emotion/rage/hate/love into sex to try and alleviate the accumulated energy and feel better, yet it was not the most accurate solution.

The giving, receiving, and sharing aspect of relationships was cut off due to so much inner shame, guilt, and turmoil. Is there a method in which I can use this point as initiative to correct myself??