Day 332

Wed Dec 28

Part 3

Personalities

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Create and participate in Personality constructs within my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Avoid myself through the use and creation of Personalities.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Identify with Personalities created in my mind accepted and allowed by me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Manifest alternate Personalities within myself, my mind and my physical expression.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Copy and Duplicate Personalities Created by others whom I have observed, and so manifest them within the expression of myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Use Personalities within the fear of survival, where I act out character constructs of myself which I use to deceive others, attempting to make them believe that my make believe Personality is real so that they can either submit to my Personality or create their own Personality to try to manipulate me in return.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Limit myself within the context of using Personalities to achieve my own self interest, not realizing that in doing so, I am sacrificing my capacity to give my True expression to others so that we may all grow in realizing ourselves in the process of creating ourselves as Life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Use Personalities to escape myself, so that I may spitefully choose to avoid facing myself in self honesty, in spite of the actuality that choice is an illusion.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Use Personalities to Defend and Justify the use of other Personalities.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Judge myself within the context of Personalities I have created. I realize that when a Personality manifest within me as a dishonest expression of myself, I must take responsibility in that moment to forgive, change, and correct the point of the dishonest personality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Hide behind Personalities which keep me blinded to seeing the Real me, and blinded to facing my real problems.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Jump from Personality to Personality to suit my moods in whatever makes me feel better about myself in self interest, as opposed to standing as who I am here in Self honesty as myself without fear or judgment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Construct multi-layered Personalities within my mind and expression so extensively that I have deceived myself from realizing who I really am.

I forgive myself that I have Not accepted and allowed myself to realize that Awkwardness, Discomfort, Unease, Tension, Agitation, and Depression are all evidence that I have very likely accessed and activated a self created Personality construct within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Channel energy into an alternate Personality in a fear based reaction and submission to other human beings in my world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Fear standing as myself in self honesty without the need for an alternate Personality

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Use Imagination to create a hero Personality in my mind which I use as a coping mechanism to make myself feel better about myself rather than apply the real solution of self forgiveness and stand equal to who I am here and create myself here in the physical reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Rebel against myself and create an alternate Personality because I have accepted and allowed myself to Blame others for me not taking responsibility for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Give up on myself as the physical, and choose rather to embody an energetic projection of who my mind has instructed me to be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Reject the common sense of the physical reality through immersing myself into an Idea of who I was instructed and programmed to be

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Believe that the Personalities I have created are the real me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Concoct strange, quirky, funny, weird, intelligent, dark, enchanting, crazy and seductive Personalities as alternate identities so that I can re-enforce the belief that I am better than others, smarter than others, and so deserve to be treated as special.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Belittle, Bully, Chide, and Punish others through the use of my Personalities.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Abuse Life through the use of Personalities.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to Realize that Personality is a Dishonest expression of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Pander to Personalities of others rather that expose them directly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Believe my Personality is Better or of a higher class or quality than others.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to Expose my own Personalities and the Personalities of others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Portray Characters as Personalities whom I believe to be better or more than.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to

I refuse to be held Captive by a Personality

I refuse to subject the Flesh to a Personality

I refuse to accept and allow myself to be subject to any Personality

I direct myself to be honest with myself in every way, and in no way do I accept and allow Personality to interfere with my process of becoming Life as the physical

I commit myself to Recognize, Address with Self Forgiveness, and Correct myself when Personalities are manifesting within me throughout my day

I commit myself to Abandon all Personalities and walk as what is here as me so that I may stop participating in Self Condemnation.

I commit myself to consistently stand until I stand as Life here Equal within and as the physical.

I commit myself to stop trying to be funny.

I commit myself to stop trying to make other people like me

I commit myself to stop trying to be someone else

I commit myself to stop all Personalities within myself without self judgment.

I commit myself to stop Personifying Life

I commit myself to stop inflating Personalities within others

I commit myself to Realize how Personalities are creating trauma and self destruction

I commit myself to Recognize when Personalities are taking over my expression Through DAILY Self Support VIDEOS until I can stand without accessing any Personalities.

I commit myself to Expose all of my own Personalities so I can stop them completely.

I commit myself to walk the point of Personalities until it is done.

I commit myself to ban Personalities from my life.

I commit myself to investigate how Personalities work so that I may learn how to Trap them and Banish them effectively and completely

I commit myself to stop participating in mental Personalities and physical expressions of Personality.

I commit myself to realize how Personalities are sabotaging my life and the lives of others.

My Personalities

Gamer personality

Contractor

Fast

Agitated

Frustrated

Addicted

Procrastinator

Comic

Humorous

Funny man

Cool guy

Tough guy

Smart/Intelligent guy

Smooth guy

Womanizer

Inferiority

Superiority

Authoritative

Crazy

Drunk

Stoned

Sexy

Seductive

Determined

Mad

Raging

Confused

Conflicted

Wise

Foolish

Distracted

False Humility

Caring

Loving

Likable

Lovable

Peaceful

Maniac

Barbaric

Harsh

Vindictive

Instructive

Mental

Sedated

Rich

Poor

Passive

Pathetic

Loser

Winner

Submissive

Dominant

Optimistic

Pessimistic

Narcissistic

Proud

Cheery

Good guy

Bad guy

Careful

Careless

Life of the party

Flawless

Perfect

Imperfect

Failure

Successful

Stressed out

Strong

Weak/Frail

Part 2

So much hiding has allowed me to become fearful and insecure of myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame myself and judge myself for having integrated systems of fear and personality within myself so much that now in recognizing those fears and systems, I judge myself as unsightly, inferior, embarrassing, a fraud, and shameful as I see all of the points of my past coming up within myself to haunt me. I realize that I must move forward in order to stop all of the word relationships and systems of condemnation within myself.

Words

Arouse - as related to sex, being aroused, getting aroused, getting an erection.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge sex and my participation in the past within sex, therefore condemning myself within having participated in sexual acts based on energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that others will judge and condemn me for having participated in acts of sex.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being shamed, exposed, and humiliated by others for having participated in sexual acts considered to be indecent, of depravity, self interest, lustful, desirous, foolishness, debauchery, lewdness, demeaning, degrading, defiling, dishonorable, and distasteful.

Part 1

Sound

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Avoid changing myself through NOT living out my self forgiveness and corrective statements physically and deliberately changing myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make Excuses for myself to not change and create myself in the physical reality.

I have realized many critical points within myself

Some of my primary programmed fears have been designed around escape, aversion, and assumption all based on fear of survival.

The point supporting those points is that I feared exposing myself because I had judged myself as unworthy (because we are all aware of our own dishonesty), and I feared the consequences of that as being too much for myself to bear - Because I actually cared about myself, but I did not realize that, or make the connection.

Relationships have been a difficult point for me for a number of reasons, obviously because there was never any real responsibility in relationships, they were all superficial because all participants including myself were superficial, and additionally they were primarily based on ego, money, and sex... all of which are deceptive starting points for a relationship.

Looking back at my life, while I thought and believed I was freeing myself, I blinded myself to the fact that I had allowed myself to be deeply programmed on a subconscious and unconscious level. This is quite deceiving because I layered the belief that I was 'doing great' on top of my deceptive beliefs, and hence I fooled myself by thinking that things would be easy for me, when in fact I had compounded points that should not have been taken lightly.

I feel I need to see things on my own as I have learned not to trust anyone, I have to learn to trust myself - that way I can be certain that I have walked the point for myself, because I would not be able to blame anyone, and I have established trust within myself so not to deceive myself. I do not expect everyone to walk points in the same manner. Perhaps you prefer doing things differently, the points have to be walked regardless

Im not blaming anyone, I just want to realize what my responsibility is

To sum up the main point for me in the past few months, as to why I have been suppressing myself - it is because I have not trusted myself. I accepted and allowed myself to fear being seen as 'false', which is actually kind of funny when I look at the point because we are all false!! We are not yet Life in fact. Soooo the solution then, as awkward as it seems is to embrace and expose my falseness! Perhaps easier said than done, but at least that way it can be addressed and eventually corrected. Suppression is obviously not the solution here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be seen as cool so that others will accept me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being judged by myself and others as a pathetic loser

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I am only doing this in self interest and thus wasting others time.

I wanted to set a good example for others and within that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear letting others down.

I withdrew because I questioned myself and suspected dishonesty within myself. In other words, I was aware of the possibility of misalignment within myself and that caused me to go into a point of fear of the unknown, at which point I decided to investigate myself thoroughly to a point of overkill because of the compounding factors of uncertainty within myself.

My points of Jealousy

- People in process of self realization

- People in life who have accomplished things or expressed themselves

- People who I judge as not having done self-investigation or having sacrificed things. In that, I have judged myself as better than because I believe that I have sacrificed things in my life and so believing myself to be better than others and subconsciously projecting that.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be jealous of others in Life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge people (humans) as evil. Even though we have collectively created ourselves as the manifestation of the greatest deception, this is not worthy of condemnation as that would leave no room for forgiveness.

Felt very strong experience accompanied by feelings last night as I introspected into the nature of self. I felt quite overwhelmed nearly to the extent of feeling pain as I considered the unseen aspect of existence - the utmost latent potential. This is not easy to describe in words. All I could think of is woah... magnificence. It seems a very precious secret of existence, and I do not wish to share it with anyone, as I am not certain that it is something to be shared. Each should find it for themselves, though I feel strongly compelled.

I will be testing this out needless to say, to see it from different perspectives. Is it real? I realize it is just potential, however, is it something in which I can legitimately use to support myself through this process? If so, it would surely add an aspect of wonder and spice to my process.

What is physical? I have heretofore described it as that which has a form of mass, which I can touch with my hands, and/or see with my eyes, and/or hear with my ears, and/or taste with my tongue, and/or smell with my nose. Is that the full extent of it? I would be inclined to say yes, as in common sense, that is what I trust that others are able to sense and cross reference in this dimensional realm so that we all are in agreement and on the same page.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to form agreements that do not completely support and honor Life in every way.

Be Self

Love Self

Trust Self

Honor Self