Day 230 - Agreements

The point of relationship/agreement came up within me today as it often does.  So looking at the point is somewhat perplexing as it has so many facets, so many variables, and so many unknowns... like a massive web of uncertainty... This must be Shelob's Lair haha.   The question I ask myself is... "What is My Relationship to Life?"

One of the main points I see within this is in the past the relationships that I have had have been based on self-interest, so from a certain perspective it was easy as I was just trying to get what I wanted.  Then as any challenge presented itself, there was nothing holding me (system wise or self) to any relationship, because I was aware that it was all self-interest on both ends.

Another point is that I realize that there are rewards from an agreement, yet I do not always consider that there are challenges as well, yet with applying oneself self-honestly, there is always the realization that there is always a solution that is best for all, and the rewards will outweigh the problems as they provide the lasting solution to the problems.

Another point I see within myself is considering the fragility of our existence, the many factors and fears which come into play based on this ought to be enough to make anyone question and wonder what the hell is really going on here, obviously far, far more than meets the eye.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own existence as within the definition of being fragile and so use this definition as a justification to not move myself, subjecting myself to fear in fearing for my own survival.

Another point is self-acceptance and do I fully accept myself enough to support myself and another within an agreement?  That is to say to walk in all ways that support self in the process of walking, pushing resistances, trusting oneself and changing oneself to support one another to be the best that each one can be.   As I look at this point I become more aware of physical uniqueness and being able to embrace that as myself and within another.   I am committed to myself regardless of whether or not an agreement is reached with another or not, I will walk alone if necessary, as I have for many years.

Related to this is the actual practicality, which has an endless amount of obstacles on it's own, all attached to every other point all leading back to the starting point of myself here in my decision to live what is best for all.

Another point being that within our current system, financial stability has a great deal to do with what/how/when/why/who relationships/agreements are established, and to the extent that a person's/couples complete identity is based on a financial statement.  This - complete bullshit - stifles Life out of everyone and everything yet at the same time I realize the necessity of self support, so the point has to be taken into consideration as always within the context of what is best for all.  
  
Clearly there are many other points as this barely scratches the surface. Overall there is greater potential as strength in numbers and coordinated support, yet the task of creating it remains to be seen.

I realize Desteni has an Agreement Course which will definitely be worth while looking into as a foundational support for establishing an agreement.

Day 200 - The Fear God System

We have all had our secret dealings with the Fear God.  The fear of not knowing, and not understanding the unknown.  Now that we have come to understand the limitations of knowledge and information, and how knowledge was created by all as a reflection of existence, self, we can now see and realize the starting point - and the consequence - of giving more value to knowledge than to Life itself.  All this time we have been looking in the mirror of knowledge in our mind, and thinking the images perceived were 'me', when they were just reflections, reflections of ourselves in fear.

Finally one day I overdosed on fear, and could take no more. I faced the great Fear God, and made peace with it.  "OK Fear God,  please take my fears away... I will do anything".  I was grateful that I was no longer on the 'bad' side of the Fear God, and could now experience the 'good' side of fear, because we had an agreement, a relationship which I thought and believed I could trust.

I did not recognize however, that this was not the first time.  I had always been in a relationship with the Fear God.  The same pattern was there repeating itself all along, only now it seemed so much more profound, as if it were the first, and last time.  All the reassurances were there, the words, the feelings, the love, the hope, the anticipation, the excitement,  the energy... it felt so good!!  The belief that I was better than they were, because they didn't know of my secret agreement, was exhilarating!  I was so much better than those on the bad side of the Fear God, who had no relationship or agreement with fear.  Eventually however, and somewhat to my amazement, I came to realize that everyone had a secret relationship with the Fear God, and most were not even aware of it.  And so slowly, the Fear God grew stronger in power, until it controlled everyone.

The Fear God, like a disease, is a master at infiltrating, occupying, and possessing everything, feeding of every last drop of energy we have surrendered to it.  It is like the machine which has no consideration for anyone or anything, but to keep itself running, in fear.  Everyone now bows, serves, and surrenders to the Fear God.  The System.  The Fear God System is now everywhere, and there is nowhere to hide from the Fear God system, because we all created the Fear God System, we are the creators of fear... we are the Fear God Systems.

There is no point in fighting the bitter and agonizing consequences we all face, they are already here, and that would only empower the Fear God System and create more fear.  The only way to stop the Fear God System is to take responsibility to stand and support the one solution.  Equality - as the Equal Life Foundation and Equal Money Capitalism.  Join the Journey to Life.

Day 22 - Emotions Energy and My Physical Body

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed 

myself to be directed and controlled by personal 

emotions and feelings, in that I have allowed myself  

to create emotions and feelings based on fear-of-loss 

and fear-of-death, not realizing within myself that I 

am responsible for stopping those feelings and 

emotions from raping and controlling me, so that I 

can stand for life as what is best for all. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed 

myself to believe that I was separate from my reality 

and therefore justify my emotional reactions as 

'defending myself' from my self-created fears through 

separation whereas I viewed my mind as the totality 

of me in not wanting to equally take responsibility for 

All of the me's that I am. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed 

myself to fuel my emotional reactions with thought 

energy and picture projections in my mind as 

justifications for those fears, when all along, those 

pictures were not the actuality of the situation, but a 

false representation presented so that I could remain 

enslaved to my fears.   And the energy is what I have

allowed myself to become addicted to as addiction to 

fear, through me fearing myself and attempting to 

comfort and escape myself.  It is obvious that I cannot

escape myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed 

myself to extensively judge and condemn myself in 

guilt, shame, and regret in an attempt to punish 

myself for how consequences manifested in my life, 

rather than slow myself down within breath, and 

realize and understand how I was accepting and 

allowing undesirable consequences in my life 

experience and how I could realize the patterns I was 

creating and stop them from re-occurring. Within that,

I commit myself to change myself to stand in self-

responsibility to myself AND all. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed 

myself to blame others for my own emotional and 

feeling reactions, and the painful consequences that I 

experienced within my physical body.  In that I realize

that I neglected the experience of myself by neglecting

the fact that my physical body was specifically showing

me that I was not being honest with myself as I was 

trying to be a hero and appear as 'a good guy' to 

others by acting as an 'energy garbage collector' and 

thus attempting to purify everything through my mind,

rather than actually stand as an Equal and share 

responsibility with everyone through allowing 

everyone work out their own dishonesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed 

myself to place my trust in others and the advice of 

others before trusting myself as seeing myself as the 

point of responsibility in understanding myself and my

reality wherein I am capable of seeing - what is best 

for all is best for me - rather than trying to collect 

knowledge and information and so use it to gain power

over others as a false god of consciousness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed 

myself to think and believe the idea that my physical 

body is the personal property of my mind in which I 

have to defend through fear of losing my personal 

property.  I realize that while we are within this 

current system, place and time, it is common sense to

defend my body if physically threatened. My physical 

body is my primary point of responsibility as the 

vehicle where I learn to stand and express myself as a 

responsible steward-in-training until I am perfectly 

standing Equal to my physical body in standing as the

living expression of what is best for all life in all ways.

In that I realize that much abusiveness and delusion 

exists within our world, therefore I commit myself to 

take responsibility for my body, in not accepting 

and allowing my physical body to be subjected to 

abuse, harm or false sentiments of those who are 

ignorant and/or unaware of the consequences of 

inequality and of being subject/slave to a mind which 

only seeks its own self-interest at the expense of Life 

as a whole.

I will not trade Life for a bowl of soup. 

Image of an inside view of a heart

from http://science.nationalgeographic.com/science/photos/heart/#/inside-heart_1008_600x450.jpg