7yr Journey to Life - Day 53 - Enjoy the Challenge

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get caught up in a rush while working because I fear not making money fast enough.  When and as I notice myself rushing and pushing myself to hard, I stop and breathe for a moment to slow myself down so that I am not allowing my mind to dictate the pace.  I realize that I must direct myself in each moment and no longer accept and allow myself to be controlled by fear of not having money.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that consistency is the most effective and practical method to direct myself so that I can be effective in my work and direct myself in and as the physical.  If I am rushing, I must stop myself and check whether my starting point is fear or me directing myself.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that all situations I find myself in are self-created, and so I must walk out the consequences.  Within that I realize that I must stop myself from creating consequences by directing myself in and as breath in every moment, not reacting to situations but directing them as myself in what is best for all and common sense.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within my programmed personality based on my parents personalities and how they dealt with issues such as frustration and anxiety.  I no longer accept and allow myself to grasp onto a personality, but rather I face myself here in the challenge to change myself and direct myself in each moment, so that I can align myself with the physical as what is best for all. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear directing myself in each moment, as if I would fear facing myself as how I have created myself.  I realize that in taking responsibility for myself here, I must walk the consequences of what I have created, so that I can challenge myself to change myself in undoing what I have done and created as myself as this world.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that facing resistances and challenging my personality/ego/mind is the way to freeing myself from self-created consequence, and therefore I enjoy that challenge and I enjoy taking responsibility for myself rather than exist as a slave robot to a system of abuse.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to put on a nice face, smile or laugh to make someone else feel more comfortable.  I realize that this is self-compromise and I am sick of compromising myself as a program of trying to please others in fear of expressing myself self-honestly.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react in any way to people within conversation.  I realize that reacting is of the mind, therefore I direct myself to directly speak words as myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear self-correction in the presence of another person.  I realize that taking responsibility to correct myself in front of others is not only assisting myself but assisting others as well.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to face myself within self-correction immediately, so as to catch myself instantly, and walk the necessary steps to actual change from the starting point of me being honest with myself.

I challenge myself to change myself within the presence of others, within slowing down and applying the necessary steps to correct and change myself so I am speaking words as me, not in reaction, but directly speaking based on what is here as me.

I challenge myself to enjoy the challenge of pushing my resistances to change myself, and to see it as an opportunity in each moment to realize myself and to stand up for myself as what is best for all.

I challenge myself to share who I am unconditionally with those who are able to hear

I challenge myself explore new ways of expressing myself, to redefine expression as no longer within the fear of embarrassment, rather cutting through all the judgement bullshit and getting to the critical point of exposing the lies and deception in our world that has been promoted by a system of dishonesty.

Day 49 - Organization, Prioritization and Motivation

One point in particular that I allowed myself to get discouraged lately was where I am trying to a certain form of abstract artwork over the past year.  I have spent many many hours trying to get it but I am not getting the desired effect.  It is very challenging to see something that you would like to do, but it is not turning out the way I would like whatsoever.

So I am stuck in the situation, because I am committed to keep trying to get it.  I suppose I should stop judging the outcome and just keep working at it until either I realize that it is not going to happen or I create something I'm happy with.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get discouraged with myself through judging what I have been attempting to do.  In this judgement, I am not realizing that what I am attempting to do takes some development and learning, and that I am in the learning phase of this process.  Therefore I stop all self-judgement and apply myself practically to see how I can assist myself to achieve my goal - or perhaps alter my goal accordingly. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to - through the discouragement system - disregard my responsibility to myself, to see the bigger picture in the long run, so that what I do today creates the world I want to live in tomorrow.

Through this, I see that when I accept and allow myself to participate in my mind without pushing my resistances, but rather 'putting things off', I am accepting and allowing the current consequences of what is here - as hell on earth - to direct my situation rather than me changing myself and directing and supporting myself to have an impact on this world.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to trap myself in a state of mind where I feel that I am unable to work in doing practical things because 'I don't feel like it right now' or 'I can do that later'.  I realize that I have to change myself to become effective in doing things immediately when I have responsibilities.  If I do not do them, there must be a resistance stopping me from doing them so I have to write out the points and apply self-forgiveness for them. Again I am writing the procrastination system.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to slack off within doing my work.  I realize that I have to work, and I do enjoy working, yet there is resistance to working at times.  I realize that I have to push through the resistances to working.  In this I am seeing a pattern of myself not being effective enough with my work, where situations are arising which are causing me to have to do much more work than is necessary and for less money.  I also realize that if I push this point/resistance effectively I will alleviate a lot of stress and anxiety from my life.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be directed and controlled by resistances to working at my computer.  I realize that I need to organize and prioritize my life so I can become more effective in getting things done that need to be done so I will not have stress and anxiety in the future - because I have not taken responsibility in the present.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame rich people and the world in anger and frustration for what I have myself created for myself as my current situation.  I realize that what is here is my responsibility and therefore this is what I have to work with.

I commit myself to pay attention to myself as to pushing resistances and getting things done that need to be done through organizing myself and prioritizing things in my life.

I commit myself to - when a system of discouragement arises within me - to stop, breathe and WRITE OUT what is going on within myself so I can see myself from a different perspective and stop the cause that is causing the negative/self-sabotaging effect in my life.

I commit myself to maintain an up to date and easy to reference prioritization of things that need to be done

I commit myself to staying organized and staying on top of issues so I can become effective in my world.

I commit myself to motivate myself through self-encouragement by doing work that I will be happy with in the future with things such as blogging and vlogging so that I am contributing in making an effort to change my world to a world that will support life as Equality and an Equal Money System.