Day 219 - Car Accident Wake Up Call

So today driving home from work, traffic began to slow on the road leading to my home community.  It turns out there had just been an accident.  There was fresh debris everywhere, and about 20 people had stopped and were doing what they could to help.   As I drove by the half crushed car, there was a woman sitting on the ground with a few people standing around her.  She was fully conscious yet obviously very shaken from the incident.  She held a bloody rag to her face and I could see streaks of blood on the area all around her throat.

Seeing things like this brings home the harsh reality we all live in, where all of a sudden, everything changes.   Instantly we find ourselves in situations where we are forced to look our existence dead in the eye, to face the inescapable truth of ourselves, and who we are in this life.

Speaking from my own car accident experience, at that moment after a crash, the fear becomes quite intense as it is compounded with uncertainty and imaginations of what could have happened or what could potentially happen as a result of what just transpired.  The fear is so overwhelming we are literally 'scared stiff'.  It is times like that when I realized how alone each of us really is, and how powerless other people are to help us in dire circumstances.  When the body bleeds out the life force within, the true shallowness and shortcomings of our relationships is revealed in full.  No ones opinions matter anymore.  

If we are 'real' with ourselves (meaning we have some compassion for life) when events like this happen, (should we be lucky enough to survive) it can help us to proactively seek a deeper understanding of ourselves, to discover what our purpose in life is, and so what is our responsibility - so that we do not die in the worst possible manner having neglected the truth of ourselves our whole life.

Can you imagine, living your whole life and never realizing the truth of yourself... thus missing the whole point of life entirely!?  That is shockingly stupid and insane... beyond the ability of words to describe.  The Desteni I Process has assisted and supported me to realize myself so that I am able to take responsibility for myself, and prepare myself to become the best person I can possibly be in this life... because I care about our planet and I care about Life.  I want to be part of the solution to Life - as what is Best for All.

 

  

Day 32 - Me as My Words

"Everyone Pays Full Price" I stated into my cell phone voice recorder yesterday. 

So after finishing my job of the past two days, it came time for the customer to pay.  He did not want to pay tax (as is typical of most clients), so I accepted that.  In addition to that, the customer was telling me that the type of work I was doing was not worth what I was asking, despite the agreement we had on the price beforehand.  So he began 'talking me down'.  I argued my points that I was well worth the price I was asking, and I had done a great job, yet he continued to demand a lower price.  So I conceded to give him 10% off the price in addition to the taxes discount. 

Upon reflection of what happened, I realized that I accepted the compromise, I did not stand my ground and demand full price, because I felt I had no ground to stand on, I needed the money and re-acted in fear of not getting it from interactions in the past.  What I did not realize is that I was compromising myself in not standing equal to my words.  In compromised myself through pitying the client, even though he was very wealthy.  Self-sabotage yet again.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compromise myself in not standing equal and one with my words, and so sabotage myself through irresponsibility to myself and my world through speaking words of compromise.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to forget that I am my words and thus when I speak words as me, I stand in agreement with myself as my words without compromise through reactions of pity or fear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take pity on someone else, and their fear of having to spend money, and in so compromise myself and my words through lack of integrity to my agreement to myself and my words as me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fall victim of fear of not getting paid and in so compromise myself and my words and my agreement with myself as my words.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react to the emotions of someone else rather than standing absolute as myself, my agreement with myself and my words.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I can compromise my words as me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to take responsibility for others through compromising myself in the desire to be a good, helpful and kind person.  I realize that if I compromise myself and my words through kindness, goodness and helping others, I abdicate myself and my agreement with myself as my words which is unacceptable and denial of who I am.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to forget to be specific with my words as myself in walking my process of self-honesty, and in so reap the consequences of inequality as the evidence of me not standing equal and one with my words as me.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to slow myself down in and as my breath to clear myself before I speak words as me.

There is no half-life, either I stand absolutely equal to life in every way, or I cease to exist.

I commit myself to stand Equal and One with my words as me in total agreement with myself

I commit myself to be the living example of standing Equal and One with my words

I commit myself to slow myself down in breath awareness and clear myself before I speak, so that I can be sure that the words that I speak are self-directed in full awareness of my responsibility to my agreement to myself and my words.

I commit myself to, when I find myself running at the mouth, stop myself, clear myself through breath, and speak words as myself even if it means having to go back and re-state what I had said previously.

Everyone Pays Full Price in repayment of the debt we all have to Life.