Day 196 - Desire and Consequence

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear consequence, and so allow myself to be directed and controlled by that fear - to the extent that I do not move myself effectively but rather remain 'stuck' in a position of fearing the worst, in the belief that the only thing I am capable of doing or creating is more consequence.


I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that by me being here and working out the solution to myself is the best I can do to manage consequence and stop creating more consequences for myself.

 
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that facing and taking responsibility for consequence is assisting me to realize what I have accepted and allowed and therefore assisting me to become self-honest with myself.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to avoid consequence, as that is merely hiding from myself and not taking responsibility for what I have created myself as within this physical reality.


I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see/realize and understand that my personal desires based in self-interest are self-sabotage in that they attribute a greater value to a selfish want/thought/idea in the imaginary hope of creating/experiencing something good for myself - thus creating the illusion that I am able to escape the consequences of what I am creating.  I realize that these selfish desires only create conflict within and without, because they are not what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a distance of time/space between myself and consequence in separation of myself through not being honest with myself in every moment.   I realize that the only way to stop creating consequence for myself and others in separation is to change myself here through self-forgiveness, so that I can take responsibility to prevent myself from creating anything that would potentially harm or abuse Life.  In this I also realize my responsibility to create and implement solutions to the already existing consequence that is currently playing out in myself and my world as a whole.

I commit myself to accept the reality of consequence and through the process of self-honesty face it directly.

I commit myself to bridge the gap between myself and consequence so that no separation exists between myself and the results of what I am creating.

I commit myself to stop all desires within myself which are not aligned to that which is Best for All Life.

I commit myself to create myself as the solution, managing consequence as effectively as I am able through standing Equal to myself and All in and as the physical.



 

Day 186 - Working out a Solution for Myself

Last night I stumbled upon a video that really assisted me to remove a major stumbling block. It really seemed to 'click' where many missing pieces fit together and made a lot of sense. Now I have to do the work to apply myself in a practical way, and see what else is preventing me from changing, aligning, and re-creating myself free from patterns of enslavement.

I woke up and was going over it in my mind, yet could not seem to place it exactly, hence feelings of agitation.

Why do I not want to get up?

Why am I feeling agitated?

Why do I not want to achieve goals for myself?

Why do I not want to enjoy my experience?

- Because I feel I have messed up my life and missed so much potential in my life.

- Desiring to blame and punish myself for messing up my life

- Not trusting myself that the application will work – doubting myself based on past failures and the absurity of the system

- Thinking I do not have enough time or energy to do it and the reward will not be satisfying enough

- Not seeing, trusting, realizing the reward as being worth it

- Energy resistances of negative emotions as jealousy

Self Forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame myself and others for the situation I am in and for the fact that I perceive myself to have missed so much opportunities in my life. In that I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame myself for my past in the desire to be better than others – as within this thought of blaming myself and others for my past I accepted and allowed the belief that I was 'foolish' – in the polarity of desiring to be 'more intelligent' than others as I should have figured it out for myself, yet the support of others was essential to me being able to figure things out.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to punish myself for past mistakes and blind acceptances and allowances. I realize these mistakes allowed me perspective to see myself in what I was accepting and allowing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt that the process will work for me in self-doubt rather than simply trusting myself which is the only obvious solution – despite how difficult and brutal the situation appears to be – it can and will change through pushing my resistances.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within my mind as the belief (as a negative energy charge) that I do not have enough time or energy to correct the situation, rather than simply dealing with what is here and working towards a solution.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the reward will not be satisfying enough, as well as the belief that it will be drudgery, as mind created ideas of what life is, in the minds attempt to sabotage my process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there will be no reward, thus it will not be worth the effort.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play host to jealousy within myself as the mind of thoughts of envy towards others, seeing and defining them as 'better than' me for having figured out different aspects of how the system works and so have been able to use it to their benefit.

What are the specific starting points of resistances and energetically charged feelings within myself;

- Negative energy charge as a result of fear of not being able to compete with larger companies

- Negative energy charge as a result of fear of being overloaded with too much strenuous work

- Negative energy charge related to a negative outlook based on past patterns

- Negative energy charge related to a negative outlook based on 'hopeless/inescapable situation' mentality

- Negative energy charge based on the feeling of being trapped in my situation/consequence

- Negative energy charge based on the lack of perceived ability to move and expand myself due to financial constraints

- Negative energy charge as a result of lack of personal enjoyment/fulfillment resulting in lack of self-motivation

- Negative energy charge as a result of the internal conflict of understanding my actual potential vs system misgivings, education requirements and inflexibility

- Positive energy charge within the belief that I can temporarily sustain myself on the baseline income enough to get by

- Positive energy charge within the belief that I see no opportunity for expansion, and therefore can postpone responsibilities until an opportunity presents itself

Origination of Consequential Outflows

- Not understanding myself and thus naively following beliefs

- Me trusting the education system and not understanding how the world system works

- Resulting in; me making improperly aligned career choices that did not specifically suit my skills.

- Underestimating the inherent lack of responsibility within the system

- Not understanding the point - that the system works through relationship bribery and 'who-you-know'

- Myself being acutely aware of, and therefore rebellious towards the manipulative and coercive 'brown-nosing' within the system.

- Therefore I deemed it best for myself and necessary to separate myself from those who were manipulative and controlling, so that I could understand and make choices for myself, unhindered by the biased influence of others, as it eventually became clear that I could trust no one.

- Hence I find myself in a somewhat awkward and isolated situation.

- This, in addition to the patterns of suppression within myself I have not fully dealt with yet - thus energetically charged systems resonate within my physical body in a type of 'eddy' creating substantial resistances where my physical body is absorbing all of the current and depleting me of physical energy, which otherwise could be used to direct myself towards working as much, and as effectively as I could be.

More self-forgiveness and solutions to follow... 

163 - Miss Breath and Miss Opportunity

Today I had to do an estimate.  During negotiations, I realized that I would not be able to do the job due to an outlet being in the wrong place.  For some reason, perhaps I figured it would take too long with the electrical work that needed to be relocated.  I quickly assumed that I would not be able to do the job, explained this to the client and closed negotiations saying I could come back when he had that issue fixed himself.

While I was driving home, it occurred to me that I probably could have done the relocation myself and charged the customer a little more for the time involved.  Why had I not seen that opportunity?  My assumption was quick, as the customer and I had been bartering over price - which was already very low, and this was causing me some frustration as I had already taken the time to drive all the way out there, which has already cost me 1/5th of the total job price in gas.

I see that I had already begun to become negative about the job, and when I realized that the plug had to be moved, I entertained a good feeling of not having to do the work with the excuse that I could not do it now.  The happy feeling was compounded by the negative feeling that I was not going to make any money, and I had in fact lost money by doing the estimate.  Within all of these feelings, I did not stop myself to assess the situation here as breath, trusting myself and the physical.  I was going by the emotion of how events like this had played out in the past - so I was in fear that the worst would happen.

The other point I realized is that, had I seen the opportunity to relocate the electrical myself and negotiated with the client for it, I may well have been upset with myself for undertaking the job, especially if there were any surprises as there always are in this line of work.  So it is a situation where I would judge myself either way.  The only solution to this is to remain here in breath, and not go into self-judgement for any reason.  Stop living my past and to live every moment as me, as breath.  I was aware of my breath the whole way to the clients house, however when I got there and the stress of the job kicked in, I lost all awareness and went on autopilot.

Business is more competitive in the winter here, and I had not prepared enough advertising for myself in the fall.  I had a job lined up which did not work out, and then expected to be able to get a job somewhere but that has not panned out either.  I will be exploring my options over the next little while to see where I can place myself to be effective and to support myself.   Besides that, process wise, things seem to be going well.


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to - when I encounter a stressful situation where I am in the vicinity of people - go on autopilot and forget my breath awareness causing me to make rash decisions and choices based in fear and how things have played out in the past.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be directed and controlled by systems as the projection of fear that the worst would happen.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself for not realizing the opportunity to do the extra work and make some extra money from the situation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to forget my newly learned skills of persuasion when dealing with clients - reciprocity, authority, scarcity, consistency, liking and consensus.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fail to direct myself in the most effective manner so that I am able to support myself and change my world to a world worth living in with Equality of Life as the principle we all live by.

I commit myself to pushing myself to remain in breath awareness when involved in stressful situations where other people are around.

I commit myself to stop living in past definitions and begin to take responsibility for me in all situations through breathing and living from the starting point of here - as seeing every situation as a completely new experience of myself here, equal to the physical reality.

I commit myself to the realization that, to walk this process of awareness in each moment is... to bring myself back from the state of absolute self-devaluation, where my existence hangs by a single strand of knowledge of myself, in the understanding that the whole universe has in fact betrayed me, as the reflection of my own self-betrayal.... to align myself with the actual starting point of myself here, as breath, so that I may create myself as Equal to all things, as the final end of all enslavement and beginning of Life without limitation or judgement, where the value of All is Equally precious as Life.
     

161 - Decision Making Process

How did we get here?  Here being the terrible situation we are all faced with on this planet - Where the way the world functions, is decided by vicious and cruel systems who care nothing for the value of Life, as Equality.   In our collective acceptance, we allowed the creation of the idea and illusion of 'free choice' – despite the fact that 'free choice' is actually the spiteful desire to be separate from existence, obviously leading to self-diminishment, death, and non-existence.  All this so that we could fulfill our selfish dreams and desires for mere energetic experiences of ourselves – sadly, not realizing the consequences as inseparable from these desires,  we separated ourselves from physical reality and enslaved ourselves to the mind of energy, falling into our own self-created trap.  

So, this is really how we forfeited our decision making power, in the belief that we would become free, yet it was self-deception, because the desire to be free from self, is in spite of self, as all of existence.  So the power of decision making fell into the hands of those who developed 'decision making systems' in the ultimate desire to have power over and enslave Life itself.   

The key here is the decision making process.  We have confounded ourselves with so many systems and compounded those systems with fears, judgments, guilt, beliefs, opinions, ideas etc. etc., decision making has become a very complex process full of anxiety and stress.  So the solution to this problem would then be to first simplify and understand the decision making process, and then to take our power back through becoming Decisive.  

Being decisive is self-movement and taking self-responsibility to make the decision to be decisive in each moment, and stand by those decisions – and/or if necessary, make a new decision.  The key is to practice actually making decisions directly, as soon as possible - not fearing any outcome, or fearing to make the wrong decision, because there is no wrong decision, as wrong is a judgment.  If our decision making process is always based in creating what is best for all, then nothing we do is ever wrong, it is simply self applying self in learning to take responsibility for self as all.  Any decision that is made can at any point be cross referenced to test its effectiveness, and so if another possibility is realized that would be best for all, a new decision is simply made.

Whenever we find we are stagnant, it is because we have not made (or tried to escape making) a decision, and not making a decision is the desire to be free from the decision making process – yet to become life is a decision that must be walked continually until all stands equal as Life.  Tough and easy decisions alike, all can be simplified to the equality equation of 1+1=2 as a series of decisions followed by a final decision.    



Decision Making Process

1. Make a Decision
2. Investigate other possibilities
3. Write it out if necessary
4. Consider all dimensions in Common Sense Best for All
5. Remove fears, judgments, beliefs, opinions etc through Self Forgiveness (past/future etc)
6. Consider consequences for and against, both (multiple) sides of the decision
7. Cross reference if necessary
8. Reaffirm and commit to self and the decision (or make a new decision)
9. Create a time-line for self to walk out the decision
10. Develop self-trust in always making the decision to live what is Best for All

Self Forgiveness on Fears in Decision Making

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my responsibility to myself in refraining from the decision making process, in attempt to escape or be free from the responsibility of making decisions. I realize that to desire to be free from decision making is the desire to be enslaved to others, and allowing them to take responsibility to make decisions for me - yet I am responsible to make the decisions myself in the best interest of all. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hesitate in making decisions in fear of making the wrong decision based on past experiences where I still hold the belief that I made the wrong decisions in self-judgment.  In so, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make poor decisions in the past based in self-interest rather than making decisions in the best interest of all life. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hesitate in making decisions in fear of failure.  I realize that failure only exists as a mechanism of opportunity for me to realize myself, forgive myself, and correct myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear making a decision because I fear losing something.  I realize that fearing to lose something is actually creating/projecting for myself the experience of losing something.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will become egotistical if I become effectively decisive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear allowing myself to get out of control or possessed if I become decisive. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear of being seen as someone who is rich and therefore an abuser, should I become consistently decisive. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear of being stuck in a decision and not being able to change my decision.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear of being defined as 'the decision maker'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the responsibility of being a decision maker.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear of not having free time for myself if I become consistently decisive in each moment. 


I commit myself to take my decision making power back through constant and consistent decision making

I commit myself to stand by my decisions as my commitment to myself, until I make a new decision that is best for all - in which case I stand by that decision as it is best for all life. 

I commit myself to realize my responsibility to myself in becoming decisive, and in so develop constant self-movement and self trust through consistent and effective decision making. 

159 - Unemployment - Equal Money Capitalism Solutions & Rewards

Problem : 

Capitalism High Unemployment Rates

Causes :

Profit Based Labor and Education Systems

- No profit potential for existent jobs required to be done that benefit society as a whole.
- Inefficient and expensive training programs (most often) at considerable expense of the trainee/student which fuels a system of debt and enslavement
- Often these programs are ineffective due to poor training techniques such as too much focus on theory as opposed to actual practical job-site experience.
- Education systems are limited and bound by those same principles of profit, thus reducing overall efficiency and effectiveness
- Responsibility to society is easily abdicated in favor of self-interest and profit to the detriment of society as a whole
- Lack of actual growth, systemic incongruencies lead to fewer job openings and potential
- Oppressed populations increasingly willing to work for lower wages in order to just survive within the system
- Irresponsible family planning leading to abuse, neglect and general overpopulation
- Over exploitation of finite resources for unnecessary consumption/profit
- Wasteful government departments and corporations draining and filtering economic resources into superfluous products and services
- Robotic systems and machinery given higher value than life due to their ability to work longer and harder with less cost and downtime.

Solution : 

Equal Money Capitalism

- Jobs that benefit society as a whole are given Equal consideration and thus performed and taken care of for the benefit of everyone
- On the job training will be more readily accepted as a common sense solution to jobs that are inherently practical and simple to perform
- Education will be considered a basic human right and thus free
- Efficiency and effectiveness overall will increase due to immense stress reduction and therefore increased employee teamwork, co-operation, satisfaction and overall well being of all involved
- Increased participation leads to exponential growth through frequently proposed solutions for overall improvement
- Exponential growth of all through expansion, inclusion, innovation, responsibility, realization and self-enjoyment
- Increased freedoms and relief of the suffering and oppressed - humans, animals, and plants alike
- More effective and specific educational programs leading to realizations of responsibility to life and an improved lifestyle for everyone.
- Responsible, practical and sustainable use of finite resources
- Wasteful systems eliminated in favor of practical functions which improve the well being of all
- Only systems which facilitate and support life as a whole will be considered and constructed in a way that is built to last and easily repaired.

Rewards :

- Increased social interaction especially among those excluded by the current system
- Considerable increase in free time as wasteful and counter-productive systems are eliminated, and efficient and effective systems are put in place
- Early retirement will provide everyone with an opportunity to enjoy life, share and express themselves in a way that they enjoy.
- Exponential increase in overall enjoyment of everyday life
- A clean, pollution free planet will become a distinct possibility, thus increasing the well being of all life - animal plant and human
- Wonderful and amazing new inventions and innovations will be created continuously through increased co-operation and freedom of expression as well as knowledge and information sharing
- Vast increases in the understanding of existence and the universe
- New exploration and travel potential and possibilities through increased cooperation
-  Profound new realizations about life itself through knowledge and information sharing
- Exceeding previous limitations and belief systems
- Transcending fears, and embracing a new era of unconditional self-expression
- End of all undesirable consequences stemming from ignorance and self-interested living

Day 122–The Revised Alchemical Process of Self-Perfection

Alchemy was an influential philosophical tradition whose early practitioners' claimed profound powers which were known from antiquity. The defining objectives of alchemy are varied; these include the creation of the fabled philosopher's stone possessing powers including the capability of turning base metals into the noble metals gold or silver, as well as an elixir of life conferring youth and longevity.
The problem was, Alchemists never fully understood the nature of the problem they worked so hard to resolve, and so, without having a proper starting point, all efforts were in vain.
Here is a relative description of different stages of the alchemical processes and how they can relate and assist self in the process of self-realization and self-discovery.

1. Ablation
The separation of a component by removing the upper part, sometimes by skimming it off the surface.
The realization that we have separated ourselves through belief systems and thinking we are better than the physical reality, not realizing the consequences of such or who we are.
 
2. Stratification
An operation which produces layers in the substance in the flask.
The realization that we have separated ourselves into many layers of thought, space, and time.

3. Albification
The making of the matter in the alchemical work become white.
Trying to purify ourselves through self-righteous thoughts, beliefs and valuations in thinking we are ‘better than’ ourselves as the physical.

4. Ascension
When the active or subtle part rises up in the flask, usually by heating.
The attempt to escape oneself through raising ones vibration and creating make believe fantasies of the mind.  This erroneous belief only leads to diminishment, as one believes the fallacy that energy can exist forever, while energy feeds off and thus requires the physical to exist.

5. Conjunction
The joining of two opposite components, often seen as the union of the male and female, the subtle and gross, or even the elements.
The realization that thoughts and judgements exist in polarities (conflict) with one another which create energy, which depletes the physical.

6. Cineration
The reduction of a substance to ashes by heating.
The realization that our physical bodies are composed of physical elements of the earth, and as such are subject to return to the earth at any given moment at which time all our personalities, beliefs and memories will cease to exist.

7. Crystallization
The formation of crystals out of a solution of the substance usually in water, either by their gradual formation from the liquid, or by evaporation of the liquid.
The realization that ones thoughts, feelings, and emotions crystalize within ones physical body and are thus used to keep us enslaved to patterns of the past.

8. Decrepitation
The crackling and splitting apart of substances, for example common salt, on heating.
Investigating and dissecting ones belief systems through research to simplify and test whether they actually contain any real value.

9. Division
The separation of a substance into its elements.
The realization that thought is not composed of any physical elements.

10. Corrosion
The eating up of a substance by an acid, alkali or corrosive material.
The acid test of self-honesty one applies within oneself to test whether or not one’s beliefs are valid in that they support life, or they are corrosive and/or destructive to oneself and others.

11. Dissolution
The dissolving or transforming of a substance into a liquid.
Dissolving ones belief systems to become physical.

12. Descension
When the subtle or active part of a substance is made to go down to the bottom of a flask, rather than ascend as a vapour.
Seeing the truth of oneself as having participated in creating hell on earth, as placing oneself in the shoes of the lowest, most reviling existence, thus realizing ones responsibility to change.

13. Exhalation
The release of a gas or air from a substance.
Applying oneself within breathing (including inhalation) as the key to supporting oneself in transcending the mind.

14. Digestion
The slow modification of a substance by means of a gentle heat.
Grasping the truth of oneself through slowing oneself down in process.

15. Elaboration
The general term for the process of separating the pure from the impure, and leading a substance towards perfection.
Self-purification through eliminating that which does not support life (thoughts, beliefs, opinions, judgements etc.) and changing oneself to become that which does support life, as the physical.

16. Incineration
The conversion of a substance to ashes by means of a powerful fire.
Incinerating ones thought patterns and memories through the process of self-forgiveness.

17. Maturation
A general term applied to identify the appearance of a degree of perfection in the work.
Becoming stable in ones process of taking responsibility to change oneself in applying oneself to live what is best for all.

18. Mortification
Here the substance undergoes a kind of death, usually through a putrefaction
Facing the fact of one’s created consequential death, and thus using the current opportunity to create oneself as Life.
 
19. Purgation
The purging or purifying of a substance by it casting forth a gross part.
Applying oneself within self-forgiveness and self-correction to purge thoughts, memories and patterns of the past so that one can change to support oneself and others as an Equal.

20. Rectification
The purification of the matter by means of repeated distillations, the distillate being again distilled.
Repeated self-correction through cross-referencing with others walking the process.

22. Reiteration
The repetition of a process, particularly applied to circular distillation, in which the distillate is returned to the vessel, and the process continued for many cycles.
Consistent application and commitment so that one does not repeat the cycles and patterns of the mind, and so can break and/or transcend the limitations of such patterns.

23. Transmutation
The action of changing or the state of being changed.
The realization that self-change is possible and not confined to the limitations and belief systems of the mind.

24. Resolution
This occurs when substances which are mixed together become violently separated by being placed into a solution.
When one no longer participates in patterns of self-sabotage

25. Restinction
Here a substance at white heat is brought to perfection by being quenched in an exalting liquid.
The white heat representing the realization of the cruelty that we currently exist as, and so the exalting liquid is the realization of the possibility of self redemption through becoming the living example of Equality as physically living what is Best for All.

26. Revivification
The bringing of a mortified matter back to life, or reactivating it.
Undertaking the 7 year Journey to Life.

27. Conception
The marriage or union of the male and female aspects of substances.
Birthing Life in the physical for the first time ever in existence.