Day 301 - Sooooooooooooo......

I recognize my own shallowness as of late, and so here I offer my apology for this, as well as not blogging for some time.  I have been spending too much time trying to consider infinite perspectives of endless problems and (non)issues (which I can have a tendency to do), all the while forgetting to give ample consideration to the foundation, for which I find our world rather abrupt at the task of reminding me... that is, when I am not so busy wallowing in regret or distraction/game/comfort for that matter.  Video games are sometimes cool, but rapidly become repetitive and tiresome. 

Within that, there has been Fear of letting others down, reluctance to stand out in a way that may put myself in a position where I would potentially be the cause of any discord or added problems. In some ways my life/process has been persistent in presenting me with some moderately perplexing and innately awkward challenges.  I do enjoy a good riddle, however like most people, I can at times struggle with finding the appropriate solution.  Self doubt and uncertainty have also played their parts, as I am still walking the point/word (self) trust, which has raised some interesting questions.

As always, there are more points to discuss, but for now I will finish with some self forgiveness statements. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be shallow, in not considering the full scope of the problem and jumping to infinite perspectives while neglecting the foundation. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by the fear of letting others down.  I realize that this is a mental justification used to avoid facing my problems. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear standing out in a way that would potentially cause discord/problems.  I realize that this fear is hypothetical in nature and therefore a mental projection and not what is here as myself. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will not find the most appropriate solution to problems.  I realize that any solution I come up with can eventually lead to other, more appropriate solutions. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt myself within uncertainty.  I realize I still have trust issues to work out within myself and my process.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take things personally and blame myself for what should be common ground issues requiring the support of others. 

I am grateful for all the support.