Day 280 - The Quest for Self Honesty

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear self-honesty within myself and within sharing myself with others in my world, so that I may change myself to be closer in alignment to self-honesty and thus caring for Life in its totality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge self-honesty within my own definition of what it means to be self-honest, as opposed to me giving up my self-interest and opening myself up to the possibility that I may not fully understand why things in life are the way they are.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit self-honesty to what I think it is, as opposed to me allowing myself to receive perspectives by others who are openly within the process of applying themselves and learning how to become self-honest right down to the flesh and bone of physical reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide myself from self-honesty, preferring to delude myself and others within false personalities, only delaying the inevitable of what must come, as me facing myself as what I have accepted and allowed myself and others to exist as within my life experience on earth - as characters of shame, and disgrace.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear self-intimacy in seeing into myself dishonesty and issues that need to be addressed, forgiven, and changed in order for me to support myself to be in alignment with what is best for all life, so that I may prepare myself to face the tougher, deeper points within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear changing myself within the fear of who I might become, what I might lose or have to give up, and what others will think of me if I were to change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project ideas of what I will be like, look like, or act like if I were to be completely honest with myself in allowing myself to challenge my beliefs of what self-honesty means.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to impose my ideas of honesty onto self honesty, thus creating deception within myself and denying myself the opportunity to make amends with life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that self-honesty is something that can be molded to best suit my self-interest.

I commit myself to push myself to see, realize, and consider what self-honesty actually is - despite my preconceived ideas, beliefs, and opinions of what self-honesty is.

I commit myself to be serious in my quest to challenge my own views as well as what I have been taught to believe of what self-honesty actually is.

I commit myself to trust myself in my quest to investigate self-honesty, cross-referencing for accuracy and from different perspectives so that I may be certain without a doubt, and thereby open myself up to the potential of growth and expanding myself,... and so bursting my illusory bubbles of self-deception in the amazing process of self-realization.

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Artwork by Alan Lee