Saturday, 21 January 2012
I was brought to church on Sundays as a kid and went to some religious camps, so I started off with the basic religious program in my head. When I was around the age of 8, I asked myself a question, "What do you want to do in life?". So I thought about it for a few seconds, and replied to myself "I want to help people". I remember hearing a voice in my head saying "You are just like Jesus". I shook my head and said no, no way. I see now that I feared myself and could not trust myself. Somehow I was worried that if I were equal to Jesus, I might allow myself to fall into greed and ego. I was also worried about how I would have to express myself, I didnt want to look funny in front of people or stand out.
As a child, I often reflecting to myself, my inner thoughts. I recall one summer lying on the grass, just staring at the sky for a long time. Why was the world so fake? And why was everyone acting like everything is OK when it was clearly not? This struck a chord in me which laid the foundation for a distrusting attitude in my teens. No way was I going to trust a system that did not address this core issue that was in myself, even though I did not yet have the answers, I knew what I was experiencing was in many ways, not real. I longed for realness inside myself, but I did not know how to get it.
A profound experience I recall in my teens, was during a hard rock concert. I remember seeing all these cool people, they were all so interesting, i wanted to talk and share with them all. Many were just like me. And then I felt this overwhelming sadness. I was realizing that, this moment we were all experiencing, would just pass away..? I couldn't explain it, yet it was there, clear as ever. Why is it like this? I thought to myself in an attempt to understand.
I experienced a car accident when I was around 19. We were all drinking, and I flew out the back of a pickup when the driver hit a wall. I had smashed my head and was knocked unconscious. When I came to, my brother was in front of me holding my hand with a police officer was behind him swinging a flashlight. I became quite scared at this point, and asked my other friend to hold my hand as well. I thought maybe I was dying. Maybe this was it, just like that. "I'm not ready", I repeated to myself in fear.
I spent the night in the hospital and was released the next day with some stitches in my face. Like a big reality check, this was the wake up call I needed. I could have easily been killed. Experiences such as this can really help 'open ones eyes'. I looked at myself differently after this, now I had to understand what was my responsibility here in this life. And having a religious upbringing, I figured I would find out what god wanted from me.
I decided to read the bible, and a certain verse convicted me of my 'double-mindedness'. I was living two separate personalities I saw within myself. I felt absolutely terrible about this, I knew I wasn't being real with myself, so I immediately became a zealous christian after that.
A few years after being Christian, I was told by someone, and confirmed by others that I was very 'close' to god, which I naively believed. It was an interesting experience, thinking you are a god lol. I imagine there are many others who fall for that as well. But it really did give me insights into myself that I would not have otherwise had. I became less afraid of god, and was able to question things about him and different religions and things like aliens etc.
Through this I practiced Buddhism and spent quite a few years studying many other mystical teachings, trying to get all the answers while waiting for heaven to arrive. It was then that I found the Desteni videos on the History of Mankind. I was immediately captivated. How the **** did this young girl know all this **** that I had been studying for years, and I didn't even have the answers to this stuff yet!?? I was a little pissed yes, but, I was far more intrigued. She had ALL the answers to EVERYTHING. And it all fit PERFECTLY in a perfect picture puzzle.
I watched videos sometimes 8 hours or more a day. I couldn't get enough. It was around 2 weeks that I was listening to the parts where Anu was being described. Because I had such a "close relationship" with god, I could see how he was deliberately lying to everyone. And sadly, I had accepted that, fearing for my own ass. Suddenly, it hit me... I realized, wow... if he is lying to everyone else then.... zomg! I felt like such an idiot. But, not much I could do but say wow like a hundred times.
Shortly thereafter I went out and deliberately committed a whole bunch of 'sins' hahahaaa. But the main realization that I had was the fact that, I could be EQUAL to people. This was such a huge relief to me, this is what I always wanted, where everyone is accepted and considered equally, smallest to the highest, a TOTAL DREAM COME TRUE! This was me, for real.
So within my experience, I can see how I put the pieces of the puzzle together throughout my life in asking questions of myself and getting some answers for myself. The bottom line for me was that I wanted the truth from a young age, and I was willing to sacrifice myself to get it. The fears and hatred for the way our world exists helped push me along. I gave up a lot of things for my realization, but I'm eternally grateful that I did, and I would not trade it for anything. People can have all their money and greed and delusion, its not gonna last. And then what will they do when they have no choice but to face themselves as who they really are? Not going to be a pretty sight... until we learn to stand as equals in every way, rough road ahead for everyone.
Study Desteni people, you will be glad you did... and that is an indescribably, huge understatement.
Monday, 16 January 2012
We all fall at some point, so here is a list of some of the most common reasons/excuses, as well as some practical tips to get us back on our feet. If one is taking the Desteni-I-Process, I highly recommend that we ask our buddies for support when we need assistance. The forums (Desteni.org) are also a good place to write oneself out. So, if and when you fall, simply get back up, breathe, and start again.
10. The Old Ways - Whether consciously or subconsciously, in some way the systems within us still want to hold on to our 'old ways' of existing. This is an aspect of fearing to face oneself and fearing change of ourselves. Perhaps we fear the unknown of what we will become, or we second guess ourselves as what we have come to understand about ourselves. Equality is like a black hole, once you get past a certain point, you realize there is no turning back.
9. Not Understanding Points - 'Thinking' we understand but not really understanding. Research and self-introspection are our individual responsibilities. There are many articles and documents here at the desteni site to assist.
I myself struggled with the point of self-trust and self-expression for quite some time. Not trusting myself to be able to do the process, feeling overwhelmed as if I wasn't able to stop myself within the feelings of guilt, regret, anger and desires for things such as relationships. If you have not yet established self-trust, you just need to keep moving yourself, pushing your resistances, even if its just a little bit at a time. Realize that there is no such thing as giving up. Eventually you will come to a point where you are so sick of the mind games going on within yourself (as well as all the abuse within our world because of the mind) that you will find the strength and indignation to move yourself more effectively and establish stability and self-trust. Understanding it is a process that is deconstructed through time, so give yourself time and you will have time.
8. Self Punishment. This system can be from childhood from being punished as children by our parents or from bosses in work. Stop punishing yourself, it is not necessary - rather be gentle with yourself. Punishment is self-sabotage and abuse within the polarity of 'better than/less than'. Apply self-forgiveness and corrective application.
7. Laziness - as a construct of wanting to do things only in self-interest. We have to realize that process is going to be work until we get to the stage where we are standing in full awareness of ourselves as who we really are. When we are at the stage of self-perfection, doing what is best for all in all ways, process is no longer work but just self-here. Until then, we have to push ourselves and our resistances to be able to expand ourselves.
6. Not Understanding Our Responsibility - we must realize that what we do in our lives has a resonant outflow/consequence which affects everything. Either we are supporting life or we are suppressing it. This is our responsibility in walking as a group, to support life and do what is necessary to be done within the principle of what is best for all, and love thy neighbor as thyself.
5. Existing within Limitation. Limiting ourselves within our 'frame of mind' - the box. It is hard to see the limitation point if you are existing within limitation lol. Writing daily is tremendous self-support. Breathe and realize the infinite opportunity that exists in each moment as we walk our process of becoming life as unconditional, unlimited self-expression, here in every moment of breath.
4. Addiction To Energy - We must be a living example to stop our addictions which operate through energy systems in our minds. If you are in the process of stopping an energetic addiction, write about it, best not to share it openly but rather with a destonian buddy, until you are certain you have cleared the point within yourself.
3. The 'Im A Destonian' Belief System - Quite similar to a religion wherein we create an image of ourselves as wanting to appear different or special within definition - separation. This inevitably leads us to comparison and the polarity system. The outflows of this can be emotions, reactions, depression and self-judgement as well as fearing what others will think of you.
2. Guilt and Regret - Guilt is the mind showing us where we have been dishonest with ourselves in our process. Guilt is a system designed to 'weigh one down' and diminishes us if we allow it to. It does not support life, however, realize that guilt can be used as a tool to in seeing oneself and how we are accepting and allowing ourselves to compromise ourselves in our process of self-honesty and self-realization. Regret is simply holding on to the past and not applying self-forgiveness and corrective application effectively for oneself.
1. Self-Judgement - Self-judgement is a form or condemnation. This is a very common system that is essential to be looked at thoroughly through writing and applying self-forgiveness. We must understand what judgements we are placing on ourselves and others, and where they are coming from. Are they from past relationships? Parents? Siblings? Friends? Teachers? Perhaps it is an idea one has about something wherein we have created a belief and judge ourselves in comparison based on that belief/idea/perception/definition. Whatever, any judgement of self or others will only lead to self-sabotage and further cycles of enslavement. Fire the policeman in the head.
Wednesday, 11 January 2012
I had a friend who was considered 'Schizophrenic'. I enjoyed his company, like a breath of fresh air from the typical, limited conversational mind drivel of 'isn't it a beautiful day' etc etc. His perspective of himself was skewed from the norm, as he didn't seem to have the more common awareness of what people thought of him, but rather spoke and acted more directly from a point of expressing his fears and that which he enjoyed.
We went for bike rides a few times, and he often said things that were quite unpredictable which made me laugh. He had a rather outrageous and funny laugh himself, and sometimes he would just yell something out of the blue. I remember one time in particular I let him stay the night at my apartment. Both of us being religious at the time, I guess I thought of it as doing my service for god. Anyway, it was during the summer and at about 2:00am a cool breeze swept in my bedroom window. He was sleeping on the floor and me in my bed when suddenly I hear him yell out loud "SATANNNNNNN!!! I REBUKE THEE IN THE NAME OF JESUS!!!
So I rolled over and turned on the light and said 'hey man, what's the problem?'
At that he replied in a very frank manner "Im sorry William, I thought it was the presence of the enemy".
Looking back at this experience, I realize that I enjoyed his company partially because he was so transparent, thereby allowing me to feel a bit more 'free' to express myself. I didn't see him as a threat, although I understand he had some real challenging problems do deal with. What I didn't realize is that I had suppressed myself, in that I was not able to just 'say' whatever I felt at any time, anywhere. I had to appear 'sane' to others in conforming myself into and as the system in fear for my survival.
Its fascinating how we have defined sanity as ones ability to suppress oneself. The more you just 'shut up' and accept your slavery and suppression, we believe apparently the more 'sane' a person is. If you express yourself as whats really going on inside you, you are considered an outcast, and treated like a perverted criminal to society. Isn't this evidence of how we live in absolute fear and self-condemnation of ourselves as who we really are? Are those considered as 'insane', not equally showing us a part of ourselves, and how we have failed to take responsibility for life?
So what have we done? As the outside reflects the inside - as our minds, what we do is we compartmentalize, just like our thoughts that we consider 'evil', we lock people away so we don't have to see them, and don't have to face them. We treat them as if they don't exist and are not real. We torture them, use them for selfish and cruel experiments, fill them with insidious and noxious drugs that destroy the physical body and just forget about them. As much as we try however, they don't just go away. They still exist, just not in plain sight.
Our methods of attempting to cure people through the current psycho-analytical systems are primarily definition based. This crude and virtually ineffective analysis is based in self-interest and not considering the entire picture of ones acceptances and allowances within our reality. Psychologists themselves within the field of psychiatrics are driven by greed and profit, promoting their services solely from this starting point. Therefore patients do not get 'cured', but rather become even more confused and disoriented about themselves leading to self-inflicted harm and continued allowance of self-abuse. Psychologists often re-enforce the starting point of ones delusional state, through confirming and re-stating the self-definitions one has placed on oneself in order that one may justify not having to face ones self-created energy demons.
Another interesting tactic of psychologists is to create a new idea for the patient, wherein the patient creates a belief system through collaboration with the belief systems of the psychologist as false definitions such as being 'a good person' within the polarity of seeing others as 'bad' or 'evil'. Often this is justified through the blame system where one blames people or events of ones past as opposed to seeing exactly how one participated within creating the actual events that took place. Clearly this is sociopathic behavior and not seeing oneself from the starting point of being equally responsible for our acceptances and allowances and thus changing self to stop abuse.
I have watched and read a number of documentaries on insanity, and just the small fraction of what I have seen is incomprehensible and a deplorable disgrace to life. As I have said before, words cannot express the suffering we allow to exist as ourselves... hidden away, somewhere. The torment we allow ourselves to endure because of our inner 'agreements' with ourselves to just 'hide it all' from view, has a dire consequence.
Seeing ourselves as equal creators of existence as what we have allowed ourselves to become, we are only now starting to realize that we are accountable for all of this suffering, each and every one. This is the fundamental reason our world exists in such a psychotic state, and therefore headed for disaster, as we are currently driving ourselves to extinction. What we have allowed is unacceptable to life. We have dishonored life as who we really are. We have tried to hide from ourselves... tried to keep it all a secret, as if we don't know, as if life can be swept under the rug of existence.
The truth of who we are can no longer be hidden, all is now being exposed. If there are any secrets within ourselves that do not support life, they will be exposed, either by ourselves through each individually applying self-forgiveness and corrective application, or by others and inevitable consequence, the former being preferable.
Virtually any person currently diagnosed with some form of insanity, from Bi-polar disorder, to Multiple Personality Disorder, to Schizophrenia etc, absolutely has the potential to change themselves through actual understanding of the starting point of how we have created and manifested self-abuse through and as spitefulness to life. Within taking responsibility to undergo the process of self-forgiveness and self-honest self-correction, one is able to stand and support oneself as equal to and worthy of life. This is why I am working with myself to stop all abuse and secrets within myself through the Desteni I process. I simply can no longer accept abuse of life to exist in my world, therefore I can no longer accept abuse to exist within myself. 1+1=2. Join Desteni to support yourself and the creation of an Equal Money System so that we can cure and ultimately abolish insanity for the good of all.
Photos from http://www.thedailybeast.com/newsweek/galleries/2008/09/15/photos-insane-asylums-around-the-world.html
Thursday, 5 January 2012
The costs of economic disparity are quite literally unspeakable and immeasurable. How have we as humanity become so inconsiderate to the extent that we just go on enjoying our lives while others in our world suffer needlessly? The fact is that each and every one of us has a responsibility to support life. Yet this is not something that is taught in our education system.
We have ALL, each and every one of us, created this chaotic mess we are experiencing on earth, and we are all accountable for it. The evidence of our blind, self-interested behaviour has lead us to the point of being utterly subject and enslaved to the systems of the world. We have created false systems of valuation and perpetuate them through the use/abuse of money. If one do not have money in this world, a person is virtually guaranteed to have a very stressful and harsh life, and often a premature death.
Everyone wants to place blame on others as lazy, or greedy, or inconsiderate, yet that very statement of blame is abdication of self-responsibility and an absolute false perception. It is therefore by no means a valid justification to not take responsibility in standing for life or to allow an abusive system to exist. The reality is that we are all equally responsible for the complete disgraceful existence we have created on this planet. How dare we call this life. This is not life, this is abuse of life.
If our planet is depleted or destroyed because of our collective irresponsibility to honor all life equally, what will our excuse be, and who will we plead with? The obvious answer is we will simply not be able to, because we will not have a voice, as the physical earth is the only means by which we can express ourselves. There is no heaven out there somewhere to go to, this is it. The physical earth and our physical bodies, have a deadline, and we must all change now, before that deadline.
The problem is that we have spitefully separated ourselves in thinking we have free will as self-interest, that we are not equal to or responsible for our world. Just because we cannot see our whole world with our eyes, does not mean that it does not exist or have direct impact on us.
Consider the utter inability of words to describe our experience. I could describe to you that I am suffering intensely, but words simply can not convey the actual experience, they only offer a very slight impression. Yet the suffering remains. Now imagine for a moment that instead of words to communicate, you directly felt what I am feeling as a direct experience. How much harder would we work to implement a real change in our world? I offer that change would be immediate. Is that not proof of our delusion? This inconsideration for life as a whole is absolutely inexcusable. How easy is it for us to pass off our responsibility to support life because we are comfortably protected by an abusive money system.
2008 BIG implemented in Otjivero, Omitara with huge success
- All those under 60 yrs received $100 without any conditions attached
- income at the health clinic increased 5x
- illegal activities such as poaching were reduced
- elimination of extreme poverty
- reduction in crime rates
- participation in education improved
- reduction in stress and anxiety
- committees were formed to curb alcohol abuse in the society
- prostitution decreased as it was not necessary for young women to sell their bodies to survive
- Big was proven to be very affordable
- helped achieved millennial goals
Some General Basic Income Grant Facts;
- increased nutritional heath and well being for everyone
- supports basic human dignity
- slight reduction in destructive impact of capitalism
- every human being is supported
- reduction in prostitution
- obvious common sense
- reduction in overall suffering
- provides more support for and within the system
- many people with plenty of wealth are willing to have their wealth taxed as a service to society
- half the worlds population is in poverty... this is insanity
- BIG would help support life as opposed to driving ourselves to extinction
- overall reduction in rivalries and gangs
- reduction in prostitution
- increased employment
- increased small business
- less degrading than charity
- quality of living increases for all
- reduction in violence as violence is the direct result of inequality
- crucial stepping stone system to true equality as an Equal Money System
- BIG still allows capitalistic abuse to exist
- BIG still does not provide all the necessities of life
- BIG still does not foster or support true equality of life
Monday, 2 January 2012
Why are humans so fascinated by all the prophecies of 2012? Isn't it is interesting. It's as if everyone is hoping for something to cataclysmic to happen. We seem to enjoy the spookiness of it all. As if we may find some mysterious answer to solve all the riddles of our existence. Well, I would like to inform everyone that the answer to it all is here.
People really do hope for something that will end it all. And it's no wonder, after all, if we observe the world as a whole taking everything into consideration, we really have created the perfect hell for ourselves haven't we. We all know it because we live it everyday. Just look at all the systems everywhere, the fakeness of everyone, the disregard for common sense, deception, greed, cruelty, abuse, desire for power and control, war, everyone wanting to "win" and be "special".
To top it off, as the ultimate form of spite, we all want to blame eachother as evil, or blame God "the invisible", or blame the devil, placing all our hope in an afterlife because we are so afraid of facing ourselves and what we have all accepted and allowed here in our physical reality.
Many people believe they will be ascending to some kind of heaven or blissful energy world full of love and light. As if they have have vibrated to the right frequency of love and energy and thus deserve to be swept away. And of course you have all the religions (really-I-gone) where people are hoping for Jesus to come back on a cloud to save us.
Everyone is trying to escape in one way or another based on a beLIEf. Things like blame, fear, judgment, perceptions, self-interest, aversion of responsibility - all escapism's.
Who is standing up for life unconditionally?
The harsh reality is that we cannot escape ourselves and what we have created. We have no choice but to face the consequences of what we accept and allow. No matter how hard we try (or pray, or vibrate), the situation will only get worse until we realize that we have to take responsibility for ourselves as life. There is no escaping, no ascending.
Most people I talk to just blindly accept the world the way it is... as if this is an acceptable existence of arrogance and fear, content to live in our personality bubble as long as we feel protected.
Our most heinous creation is the money system, where we have placed the value of money over the value of life itself. How much cruelty to life must we allow before we realize what we are doing to ourselves?
So sadly, in 2012 we can only expect much more suffering and abuse of life until we stop and take responsibility for ourselves as life equally.
The solution is quite simple, if we just stop trying to escape. It is self-forgiveness.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to disregard life and blame others for what I have accepted and allowed to exist in my world and my reality.
I forgive myself for wanting to hide from and escape myself and what I have created.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I will ascend or be taken away from what is here, not wanting to face myself and change who I have allowed myself to become.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within self-interest, not considering others and life as a whole.
I stand and support myself and all life equally in taking responsibility for all as my world.
At Desteni, we are learning through the Desteni-I-Process course what it is to stand for and support a dignified life for all, where all life is honored equally. Within the principle of what is best for all, and love thy neighbor as thyself, we are working on implementing an Equal Money System, (EMS) so that the necessities of life are available to all. We are also supporting the Basic Income Grant (BIG) as a stepping stone to relieve the suffering and abuse until we are able to transition into the EMS.